Keepers Pro-Schmo 2017-Results
Keepers X 2017 got off to a rollicking start on Sunday with 46 members of the band sporting the Keepers Footjoy Fashions and participating in our annual Pro-Schmo. All the regular culprits were there plus a few fresh faces as well as the kompetition heated up very quickly on the zoysia grass.
Howard “Been Holed Up In Rockville” Wollner teamed with Thomas Pieters on the way to shooting a seismic Net 58 to win the American Division. In spite of his story of being kooped up with klient columns and rows the last month, there is reason to suspect he has making surreptitious visits to Swing-Tec for off season swing tuning. Helping Thomas with a natural birdie on the sixth and then a 3-5-4-5 finish down the closing four, Howard skated home to a three-shot win in his division.
There was a four-way tie for second in the American at Net 61 with Len “Still Got Pimento Under My Fingernails” Goldman and Kootch, Steve “Smelled The Azaelas” Keller and Sergio, Artie “Didn’t Have My A Game Today” Aronoff and Brooks Koepka, and Keith “No Language Barrier Here” Eig and Hedeki Matsuyama. Len and Steve apparently took advantage of some live face time with their Virtual Pards down at The Masters last week to enhance team performance. Kaptin Keith used some recent A-Team play to ready his game and Artie was Artie just drummin’ out pars on the way to a fine finish.
In the National Division it was Herbie “True Shoes” Kushner with Sergio and Arnie “Can You Read The Bottom Line Please” Miller with Kootch shooting Net 61 to take their grouping top honors. Drone footage shows an amazing natural birdie on 9 by Herbie as he slipped his hybrid approach up the green opening and rolled it to 5 feet. His three natural pars in the inward half, including one on the long 18th, were critical in supporting Sergio’s first Keepers win. Arnie played full Denny’s Grand Slam Beef Fry n’ Egg with Kuchar as he covered his partner’s three bad holes on 1, 3, and 9 with natural pars.
The three-way tie for third in the Nationals at Net 62 was a quasi Bundestag Slam including Mark A. Goldstein and Martin Kaymer, Hamilton Loeb and Thomas Pieters, and Cary Reines and Martin Kaymer winning sweeps for the Motherland. Hamilton and Cary are Keepers Freshman who apparently are anxious to mark their territory on the Keepers Kup leaderboard.
The Net Pars or Better Kash Game raised the first $430 toward The Keepers year-end military charity donation and paid out an equivalent amount to seven Keepers who led this kompetition.
Net Pars or Better Payouts:
1st Len Goldman 22 Points $120 kash
2nd Howard Wollner 21 Points $90 kash
3rd Keith Eig 20 Points $80 kash
T-4th Arnie Miller and Paul Cohen 19 Points $50 kash each
T-6th Phil Schulman and Artie Aronoff 18 Points $20 kash each
Thanks to all who participated in support of this effort.


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