The Final Fore of the Keepers Alternate Shot Series was once again a smokey affair which pitted four two-man teams, well stocked with expensive cigars, against each other in a round-robin series of three 9-hole Alternate Shot Matches on the South Course to determine our Keepers Kahootz Champions for 2019.
The kompetitve instincts of the four teams making it into the Final Fore would make for a full afternoon grind to determine the champions. Marc “I have finally settled on a putter” Birnbaum and Howard “I want this kool trophy” Wollner dominated their kompetition in the three week night matches leading going to the Finale with 25 points. Yale “Ivy League” Kaplan and Michael “They love the sexy accent” Levy had 22.5 points to tie for second through the evening matches with the dogged pair of Harry “Stogie II” Harrison and Paul “Pablo” Cohen. Rounding out the Final Fore were Steve “What are we playing for?” Keller and John “Freaky” Friedson with 22 points.
After the first matches on the back of the South Harrison-Cohen took the early lead winning four holes in a row from 13 through 16 to notch a 5.5 to 3.5 win over Kaplan and Levy. The Birnbaum-Wollner vs Keller-Friedson opening match was a total Karch Kiraly affair with them trading holes from start-to-finish before prevailing 5 to 4. There was little momentum for any team going into the second stage of matches.
Turning to the front nine for the second matches Harrison-Cohen ceded the advantage on the first five holes to Birnie and Wolles but proved tough from six through nine scratching out a 4.5 to 4.5 split. Keller-Friedson started slowly as well, losing the first two, but found their keel on holes three through eight squeezing out a 5 to 4 win over Yale and Michael.
With 9 holes left it was anybody’s ball game……..
Harrison-Cohen 10 Birnbaum-Wollner 9 1/2 Keller-Friedson 9 Kaplan-Levy 7 1/2
The final matches returned to the back nine and two closely played matches left the final winner in doubt until the last putt dropped.
Birnbaum-Wollner fought hard against Kaplan-Levy with the match tied through the first seven holes. Fate turned in their favor with a win on the 17th and a half on the final hole that earned them a narrow 5 to 4 match win and the clubhouse lead at 14 1/2 points.
But would it hold up?
Keller-Friedson had ground to make up on the leaders and started out strong winning three of the first four holes to stake a decisive lead and buoy their hopes of taking home the hardware. Harrison-Cohen clung tightly to the wreckage avoiding lost holes from 14 through 17. But by the 18th tee, with the match score at 5 to 3 against them, the realization was at hand that Harrison-Cohen could not win enough points to catch the leaders but they could still be a spoiler in determining the champion. With Keller-Friedson in for bogie on 18, Pablo stoked a par putt that took an eternity and every dimple available on the ball before it tumbled into the cup to win the hole. The 5 to 4 winning result of this match left Doc and Freaky a mere 1/2 a point from a playoff for the title with Birnie and Wolles.
As predicted this turned out to be a three-plus cigar affair and the champions were determined by the narrowest of margins. Hearty congratulations to the Keepers Kahootz Champions.
The Final Fore Tally:
1st Place M. Birnbaum-H. Wollner 14.5 Points $150 Sweeps 150 Kup Points
T-2nd Place H. Harrison-P. Cohen 14 Points $90 Sweeps 90 Kup Points
T-2nd Place S. Keller-J. Friedson 14 Points $90 Sweeps 90 Kup Points
4th Place Y. Kaplan-M. Levy 11.5 Points $50 Sweeps 50 Kup Points
Special thanks to Konnor and staff for their adept administration of the Keepers Alternate Shot Series and these Final Fore Matches.
We had 27 short order chefs participating in this year’s Keepers Flap Jacks on a sultry summer evening on the North Course. Playing this unusual format that uses (2) Best Balls on the Odd Holes and (2) Not So Best Balls on the Even Holes it made sure that all three guys kept their attention on the pile of pancakes.
Top honors for the evening went to Iron Skillet and IHOP who showed the most kulinary kunning shooting 70 to win the team kompetition. Iron Skillet, led by Phil “Squeeze Play” Schulman, Mike “They All Kount” Selis, and Arnie “Fit as a Fiddle” Miller ,dominated the Best Ball holes at 5-under on there way to a winning performance. Through strong individual play of Steve “Latte” Lerman, Artie “Smoothie” Aronoff, and Ronnie “Frappe” Rosenberg, posting individual net scores of 35, 34, and 37 respectively, IHOP matched the winning total to share in the first prize points and kash sweeps.
Tied third at 71 were Team Huddle House-Jimmy “Short Order” Polsky, Larry “Kool Hand” Jacobs, and “Marquee” Mark Miller-and Team Dennys-with the brothers Don and Michael Fisher and Brian “No Violation” Fein.
In the Players Pool Kash Game of individual Low Net it was Mark Miller and Mike Selis tied first with Net 33 getting $40 each and Billy Burak and Artie Aronoff with Net 34’s tied third getting $20 each. We added another $110 to our Military Contributions for the end of the year thanks to the participation of 23 guys in this game.
Today’s Keepers Beat The Pro pitted 48 Keepers against the Thursday U.S. Open scores from Pebble Beach of some of the world’s finest flat bellies in a man-on-man, no-holds-barred kompetition. Separated into American and National League Divisions by handicap range, the Keepers got 110% handicap on the South Course in a Stableford Scoring format where they gleaned 3 points for each hole they won and 1 point for each hole they tied. Seasoned pros like McIlroy, Rahm, Koepka, Garcia, and DeChambeau are still smarting from the experience.
In the American League Division Bobby “Jack Lalanne” Fogel put on a performance for the ages scoring 30 points against two-time reigning U.S. Open Champion Brooks Koepka. At 80 years young, the ageless wonder had 4 pars in 5 holes on the outward half shooting a gross 40. He backed it up with four more pars between 11 and 15 and threw in a natural birdie on the finishing hole winning 6 out of the last 8 holes on his way to a bookend 40 on the back nine. Bobby got 300 valuable Keepers Kup Points and $100 in Kash Sweeps shooting a dominating 80 off the Blue/Green Combo Tees on the zoysia.
Finishing second alone in this division was Alan “Swing Version 3.2 B” Levine who put the ack-acks on Martin “Luftwaffe” Kaymer with 27 points earning 200 Kup Points and $50 in Kash Sweeps. T-3rd were last year’s winner Jim “I Own This Event” Ackerman and Artie “On The Move” Aronoff who carded 25 points each against Brooks Koepka.
In the National League Division it was Bruce “Just Learning The System” Dubinsky who dominated Sergio “I Stink” Garcia shooting gross 42-48-90 on his way to 30 points. Bruce won 6 holes on the front nine to rack up 19 points and backed it up winning 16 and 17 to close out his victory and earn 300 Kup Points and $100 in walk-around sweeps. Eddie “Squeeze Play” Cohen and Arthur “Your Are Gonna Find Out I Can Play” Dubin scored 29 points each on Bryson “The Engineer” DeChambeau and Rory “I Got My Swagger Back” McIlroy for second place honors of 175 Kup Points and $40 Kash Sweeps each.
Thanks to Konnor, Grant, and the rest of the staff who set up and administered this afternoon’s festivities.
Playing under clear skies and in sultry summer conditions this year’s Keepers Kolor War pitted four scavenging squads in a day-long battle for Varmint Supremacy. The day’s event included Short Game Skills, Two-Man Modified Alternate Shot, and Two-Man Net Best Ball kompetitions.
The day began with Short Game Skills at the SID where four guys showed supreme short game wizardry notching 10 points or more. Larry “LJ Kool” Jacobs seemed right at home and was the only one who scored points in each of the four skills. Mike “Who’s Buying” Sellis got 4 points at “Goose Poop” the tight grass pitch and 5 points at the cross country putt “As The Crow Flies” on the way to an 11 point tally. Allen “Pelz” Zweig got 11 points himself including hitting the circle twice at “Deer Tracks” the elusive bunker shot station. Ron “Tex” Hirschel tallied 10 points with a 5-3-2 point combination at “Goose Poop”, ” As The Crow Flies”, and “Howling At The Moon”, the forced carry pitch shot over a bunker. By 9:30 am Team Gooses had 58 points and a kommanding 16-point lead after one session.
But that was not going to last as Team Coyotes turned the kompetition on it’s head with 112 points in the 2-Man Modified Alternate Shot Stage with 20-plus point performances across their entire dance card. Premo 24-point performances from Moe “Up and Down” Dweck and Keith “Nasdaq” Eig (the man has some beta) and Mark A. “Catch Me If You Can” Goldstein and Alan “The Terp Is Back” Schwartz earned them a 20 point advantage over the field after Stage Two. The best performance of this stage was turned in by the duo of Arnie “Power Sticks” Miller and Marc “In Fast Recovery” Fink who got 30 points for Team Crow. The Deer got solid help from Sol “Father of the Mascot” Gordon and Larry “LJ Kool” Jacobs who notched 26 points.
In the final phase, the Two-Man Net Best Ball matches, the Coyotes held the Crows at bay eaking out 96 points with 24 point kontributions from Rick “No Brakes” Brecher and “Willie” Nelson Cohen and an additional 22 from the Dweck-Eig tandem.
When the kalculating was done Team Coyotes won the team kompetition by 25 points with a konvincing 242 total to earn $50 in Kash Sweeps per man. Team Crows finished second with 217 points earning their guys $25 in Kash Sweeps a piece.
The Keepers Kup Points in this event go to the top three individual point performers on each of the Varmint Squads. The lead MVPs got the “understated” MVP Bronze Medallion and 200 Kup Points per man and the second and third place get 100 and 50 Kup points respectively.
Team MVP Results:
Moe Dweck Medallion and 200 Kup Points
Rick Brecher 100 Kup Points
Keith Eig 50 Kup Points
Steve Keller Medallion and 200 Kup Points
Rick Payes and Marc Fink 75 Kup Points Each
Allen Zweig Medallion and 200 Kup Points
Ron Hirschel and Mike Selis 75 Kup Points Each
Larry Jacobs Medallion and 200 Kup Points
Rich Greenberg 100 Kup Points
Sol Gordon 50 Kup Points
The Players 50-50 Kash Raffle generated another $560 toward our year-end Military Charities Donation. Four winning tickets were picked from the Corona Can which yielded $125 for the lucky winner’s grandchildren.
Thanks to all 40 guys who made this year’s Kolor War a success. Special thanks to Konnor Farrell, Grant Strawoet, and Cory Wessellman for preparing the playing fields and shepherding all the varmints throughout the day’s kompetition.
In the face of threatening weather, over 40 Keepers showed up to stage our annual Keepers Pro Schmo with a little help from 8 of their virtual friends. Playing the “New North” the Keepers got to experience the changes to the front nine green complexes that have been under wraps all winter.
Top honors in the National League Division went to Ron “Big Sky” Hirschel who teamed with fiesty Ian Poulter to shoot Net 61 on their better ball. Tied second with Net 62 were Steve “Gordo” Gordon/Jon Rahm and Guy “Parfait” Berliner/Phil Mickelson.
In the American League it was Mike “Not Lew” Selis who carried Kevin Kisner on his back on their way to a shooting Net 62 to win their division. A bit of a traffic jam developed in second place with Net 63 involving Steve “Peleton” Lustig/Kiradech Aphibarnrat, Len “The Plumber” Goldman/Justin Harding, and Bobby “Jack Lalanne” Fogel/Kiradech Aphibarnrat. Fortunately no air bags were deployed.
The Net Pars or Better Kash Game raised the first $350 toward The Keepers year-end military charity donations and paid out some walk around Kash Money to six Keepers who led this kompetition.
Net Pars or Better Payouts:
1st Ron Hirschel 24 Points $100 kash
T-2nd Paul Cohen and Mike Selis 20 Points $75 kash each
T-4th Len Goldman, Sol Gordon, and Rich Greenberg 19 Points $30 kash each
The season ramps up quickly as we move into May with a Four-Club, Kolor War, and the first two of the Alt-Shot Series matches coming your way. Stay tuned for the announcements and sign ups over the next few weeks. Thanks to all who participated in kicking off our 12th Keepers Season.
Some things are worth waiting for but we might have tested the merit of that wisdom. as it took us four months before we finally got the Final Fore of the Keepers Kahootz Alternate Shot Series in the books.
There were four battle tested teams that survived the first three matches in May, June, and July and were still vying for the super kool trophies and a piece of the $750 in sweeps in the final two matches held this month. Points scored in these matches would determine the final order of merit for the prizing.
The contestants for the Final Fore matches were:
Mike “Koach” Fisher and Ronnie “I Am Due” Rosenberg
Randy “Been There Before” Weiss and Mark “M.A.” Goldstein
Len “The Plumber” Goldman and Moe “The Kommish” Dweck
Steve “The Breeze” Lerman and Ron “Slow Glide” Edlavitch
Giving six shots in the first of the Final Fore matches, Fisher and Rosenberg had their work cut out for them. Closely kontested through the first six holes it was 3-3 heading to the 7th Tee. There were no halved holes on the front side, in fact only two halved holes in the entire match.
But Mike and Ronnie started to assert themselves winning 5 of the next 7 holes from 7 to 13 taking kontrol of the match by four points. Two forgetables on 14 and 15 gave Weiss-Goldstein some hope, but some forgetables of their own left them reeling and Fisher and Rosenberg closed out the match 11 to 7, setting a high bar to beat in the other match.
In the second match Lenny and Moe volleyed back and forth with Steve and Ron through the front 8 making the mini-turn up 4 1/2 to 3 1/2. But on the back 10, The Plumber and The Kommish put on a Ham and Egg Routine that would make any Waffle House manager proud as they did not lose a hole the rest of the way.
With two holes to play they needed to will a half and a win to break through the 11 point barrier and snatch the whole kitten kaboodle. That is what they did, grinding out the win 11 1/2 to 6 1/2.
We set a Keepers record with 24 teams, 48 players kompeting in this year’s Alternate Shot Series. This format is fast, furious, and fun and will undoubtedly be back for a fifth iteration next spring. I am sure there are a couple of teams already chomping at the bit for another opportunity to be the Foursomes Champions of The Keepers.
Play for P.I.N.K is one of the biggest annual fund raising events run by the Ladies of Woodmont and the men have shown support for this effort the last two years with a Men’s Play For P.I.N.K. Tournament.
All those participating made a $50 donation to Play for P.I.N.K. which uses the proceeds to support Breast Cancer Research. 40 players participated this year, and The Keepers provided the Kash Sweeps Prizes for the low net scores of the event.
This year’s winner was Mike Selis who shot a 3-Under net score, followed by Kevin Bass who took second at 1-Under. Here is the list of the Kash Sweeps Winners:
1st Place Mike Selis 3-Under $100 Kash Sweeps
2nd Place Kevin Bass 1-Under $70 Kash Sweeps
T-3rd Place Artie Aronoff, Jim Polsky, Sam Werner, and Harry Harrison Even Par $32.50 Kash Sweeps
Thanks to everyone who supported this year’s Men’s Play For P.I.N.K. that raised over $2,000 for this worthy cause.