Keepers Beat The Pro 2017-Results

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As we approach the midpoint of the Keepers X Kampaign, we were presented with a sultry summer day for the annual Keepers Beat The Pro Klassic.  39 Keepers kompeted in two divisions against the scores of 8 tour professionals from this year’s Memorial Tournament in a modified Stableford Match Play format for valuable Kup Points and Kash Sweeps.

In the American Division Marc Leishman didn’t see it coming as Jimmy “Bam Bam” Polsky smacked him upside the head for 36 points to win top honors and lap the field.  This was total domination start to finish with 10 net birdies and a net eagle as Jimmy shot 80 on a difficult set-up on the North Bent playing off the 18 strokes his 110% handicap afforded.

Bam Bam’s winning card….a study is in the works for Russian influence

Tied second in the American 9 furlongs back were Steve “Don’t Be Laughin’ At By Curve” Lustig and Artie “I Told You To Pay Attention” Aronoff who scored 27 points off Bubba Watson and Ricky Barnes respectively.  Phil “Beware Of The Wounded Kat” Malet took down Bubba for fourth and tied fifth in the American with 24 points were Rusty “They Call Them Hot Metal For A Reason” Minkoff, Kevin “Bullseye” Bass, and Mike “Just Check The Top Of The Leaderboard” Selis.

A Classic American Story

The National Division was a very tightly kontested affair as Don “The Don” Rogers worked a little family magic of his own taking down Hideki Matsuyama for 27 points.  After winning two of the first three holes The Don konserved his energy for spell before stepping on the gas to win 6 of the last 11 on the way to first place in the National.

Tied second were Frank “Practice Makes Perfect” Crantz and John “Freakyazoid” Friedson who beat Bubba and Phil for 26 points each.  A log jam for fourth included Arthur “So This Is A Sport” Dubin, Nelson “First Among Cohens” Cohen, Mark “S” Goldstein, and Ron “Remember The Finale” Hirschel who scored 25 points each against their pro opponents.

National Division was a fevered sprint to the finish


The Booty:

American Division:

1st- Jimmy Polsky  300 Kup Points  $100 Kash Sweeps

T-2nd- Steve Lustig and Artie Aronoff  175 Kup Points  $40 Kash Sweeps each

4th- Phil Malet  100 Kup Points

T-5th- Kevin Bass, Rusty Minkoff, and Mike Selis  50 Kup Points each


National Division:

1st- Don Rogers  300 Kup Points  $100 Kash Sweeps

T-2nd- Frank Crantz and John Friedson 175 Kup Points  $40 Kash Sweeps each

T-4th- Nelson Cohen, Arthur Dubin, Mark S. Goldstein, and Ron Hirschel 50 Kup Points each


Keepers Kolor War 2017-Results

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Mount Rushmore-The 7th Inning Stretch-was a wild and wooly affair with 40 Keepers representing four Presidential teams in our annual Kolor War Team Event.  The event format included Stage 1 Matches of 9 hole Two-Man Scramble, Stage 2 Matches of 9 hole parallel Two-Man Best Ball and Not-So-Best Ball, and Stage 3’s hand-to-hand individual scrums of Short Game Skills at The Sid.

Team Teddy, kaptained by the always acerbic Howard “Stogie” Wollner, ran rough shod over the field with a lightening charge in Stage 2 and Stage 3 to score 504 points and win the whole shooting match.

In the Stage 1 Scramble Matches Team Abe took a decisive 10-point lead on the back of across-the-roster heroics.  Keith Eig-Billy Burak (21 points), Len Goldman-Steve Lustig (20 points), Rich Sussman-Tom Burne (24 points), Dave Benson-Monroe Brett (22 points), and Art Blitz-Rick Brecher (16 points) together tallied 104 points to open up a gap on the field.

Team Teddy found their ballast in Stage 2’s parallel Best Ball and Not-So-Best Ball Matches with Artie Aronoff-Bill Artz (46 points), Kaptain Wollner-Ronnie Rosenberg (42 points),  and Mike Fisher-Paul Cohen (42 points) fomenting the comeback as they dominated with 208 points to take a commanding lead.

But with the five Stage 3 Short Game Skills-Normandy Beach, Dumbo’s Rump, Phil’s Pholly, Born To Run, and Lag Time-still to go it was not “over until it was over”.  The heroics in this stage came from Ronnie “I know my way around Green” Greenbaum and Arnie “It Is Not All About The Drivin'” Aronoff  who both won 4 out of 5 skills in their respective groups as Team Teddy scored 202 points as a team to consolidate their lead and take home the $50-a-man Team Sweeps.

A side note on the Short Game Challenge, there were three hole-outs worth 50 bonus Keepers Kup Points to each man by Steve “MVP” Lustig, Joe “Rump Management” Baldinger, and Moe “New Grooves” Dweck.

Team Teddy included Mike Fisher, Norm Freidkin, Paul Cohen, Kaptain Howard Woller , Artie Aronoff, and Ronnie Greenbaum
Team MVP’s for each squad scored 200 Keepers Kup Points as well as the swell Bobbling Head Trophy of their President.   Keepers Kup Points were awarded to the top three individual performers on each team so there were plenty of points to go around.

(Click to see the full results sheet from Keepers Kolor War-Mt. Rushmore-7th Inning Stretch)

MVPs Steve Lustig and Ronnie Greenbaum with Lil’ Abe and Lil’ Teddy respectively

Team Prizing:

First Place Team (504 points)- Team Teddy-Howard Wollner, Ronnie Rosenberg, Mike Fisher, Paul Cohen, Artie Aronoff, Bill Artz, Bob Cook, Jimmy Polsky, Norman Freidkin, and Ronnie Greenbaum    $50 Kash Sweeps per man

Second Place Team (474 points)-Team Abe-Keith Eig, Billy Burak, Len Goldman, Steve Lustig, Rich Sussman, Tom Burne, Dave Benson, Monroe Brett, Art Blitz, and Rick Brecher  $25 Kash Sweeps per man


Tale of the Tape…..Team Teddy wins convincingly with 504 points

The Players Pool Kash Game raised $370 for our Military Charity Donation at years end and awarded Kash Prizes to the top six individual point winners across the field.

Kash Winners:

1st- Ronnie Greenbaum (63 points) $110 kash

2nd Artie Aronoff (61 points) $90 kash

3rd Steve Lustig 57 points $70 kash

4th Alan Levine (56 Points) $50 kash

5th Len Goldman (55 points) $30 kash

6th Mike Selis (53 points) $20 kash.

Thanks to Konnor and his staff crew for putting on a great show for us in Keepers X Kolor War 2017.

Keepers Tuesday Flap Jacks 2017-Results

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Nine teams of short order chefs participated in last nights Keepers Flap Jacks on a perfectly tranquil evening on the North Course.  Playing this unusual format that uses (2) Best Balls on the Odd Holes and (2) Not So Best Balls on the Even Holes it made sure that all three guys kept their attention on the pile of pancakes.

Team Iron Skillet, Marc “The Bronx Bantam” Fink-Ron “Show Me The Green Tee” Edlavitch-Rick “Don’t Call Me Mitch” Brecher-showed the most kulinary skill shooting at team 1 over par 73 to win the first prize points and kash sweeps.  The manhandled the Five Pars 3 under par and survived the Par Threes on their way to a convincing team performance.  All pars on best ball holes at 7 & 9 sealed the victory by one.

Tied second at 74 were Team Shoneys-Artie “Sign Me Up Again..And Again” Aronoff-Sol “You Ate What” Gordon-Mark “The One With The A” Goldstein-and Team Huddle House-Howard “Konnor Showed Me A Thing or Two” Wollner-Paul “Not Sure Why It’s Pablo” Cohen-Gene “Every Young” Youngentob.

Flap Jacks Prizes:

1st  Mark Fink, Ron Edlavitch, Rick Brecher  150 Kup Points  $50 Kash Sweeps each

T-2nd  Artie Aronoff, Sol Gordon, M.A. Goldstein, Howard Wollner, Paul Cohen, Gene Youngentob  105 Kup Points $20 Kash Sweeps each

4th  Rich Sussman, Harry Harrison, Ronnie Greenbaum  60 Kup Points Each

5th  Allen Zweig, Steve Keller, Rick Cohen  30 Kup Points Each

In the Players Pool Kash Game of individual Low Net it was Artie with an artful Net 35 getting $60 and Ron Edlavitch and Howard Wollner with Net 36’s getting $25 each. We added another $115 to our Military Contributions for the end of the year thanks to the participation of 22 guys in this game.

Par Three Tournament 2017-Results

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The interest level in our annual Par Three Tournament has been growing in leaps and bounds as husbands and wives, parents and their children, juniors, and a whole lot more kompeted in the 2017 iteration called “Short Circuit”.  The Par 54 18-hole design, which featured a few new twists and turns curated by the firm of D & D & W & F, challenged the creativity and skill of 132 Woodmont members, including 44 Keepers, on a warm and sultry spring day.

Great fun was had by all…..Phil Malet got his day started in style with his first career Hole-In-One on the first hole “Ben Franklin” setting off a mishbucha celebration for the ages.   Under our adopted Keepers Excellence In Action Policy Phil got 100 Keepers points for this “perfect swing” to go along with lots of high fives.

Phil Malet giving the Hole-In-One gesture….nothing but net!
For The Keepers we prized Kup Points to the top five net groups with Keepers.  The formidable group of Howard Isaacson, Rick Brecher, Neal Bobys, and Paul Cohen scorched the bent grass with 41.7 net to take the top Keepers prize.  Not far behind were Arnie Miller, Phil Schulman, and Mike Selis whose group shot 43.2 net.

Keepers Results:

1st Net-Howard Isaacson, Rick Brecher, Neal Bobys, and Paul Cohen  41.7 net  300 Kup Points each

2nd Net-Arnie Miller, Phil Schulman, and Mike Selis  43.2 net  200 Kup Points each

3rd Net-Jimmy Polsky, Barry Minkoff, Billy Burak and Mike Fisher  44 net  150 Kup Points each

T-4th Net-Gary Faigen, Cary Reines, and Arthur Dubin  44.7 net   75 Kup Points each

T-4th Net-Moe Dweck and Marc Fink  44.7 net   75 Kup Points each


The day’s field was so large tournament officials had to split the atom and go to two flights based on team handicaps which provided more spoils to be distributed among winners in gross and net categories.  As you can see in the winners covered all age groups and genders.  Some of them will have their sweeps placed in trust so as not to endanger their amateur status.

Proton Gross Winners at 12 under…Will Klein-Kyle Nordheimer-Sophie Simon-Amanda Levy
Low Net in the Electron Division at 42.2 Ryan & Scott Attman and Jake & Elliot LIffman


(Click to see the Short Circuit winners in the Proton and Electron flights)


(click on the scoreboard to enlarge the image resolution)

Special thanks to Konnor Farrell and his staff for their yeoman’s effort in planning, organizing, and putting on this fabulous event for our membership.

Keepers Pro-Schmo 2017-Results

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Keepers X 2017 got off to a rollicking start on Sunday with 46 members of the band sporting the Keepers Footjoy Fashions and participating in our annual Pro-Schmo.  All the regular culprits were there plus a few fresh faces as well as the kompetition heated up very quickly on the zoysia grass.

Howard “Been Holed Up In Rockville” Wollner teamed with Thomas Pieters on the way to shooting a seismic Net 58 to win the American Division.  In spite of his story of being kooped up with klient columns and rows the last month, there is reason to suspect he has making surreptitious visits to Swing-Tec for off season swing tuning.  Helping Thomas with a natural birdie on the sixth and then a 3-5-4-5 finish down the closing four, Howard skated home to a three-shot win in his division.

There was a four-way tie for second in the American at Net 61 with Len “Still Got Pimento Under My Fingernails” Goldman and Kootch, Steve “Smelled The Azaelas” Keller and Sergio, Artie “Didn’t Have My A Game Today” Aronoff and Brooks Koepka, and Keith “No Language Barrier Here” Eig and Hedeki Matsuyama.  Len and Steve apparently took advantage of some live face time with their Virtual Pards down at The Masters last week to enhance team performance.  Kaptin Keith used some recent A-Team play to ready his game and Artie was Artie just drummin’ out pars on the way to a fine finish.

In the National Division it was Herbie “True Shoes” Kushner with Sergio and Arnie “Can You Read The Bottom Line Please” Miller with Kootch shooting Net 61 to take their grouping top honors.  Drone footage shows an amazing natural birdie on 9 by Herbie as he slipped his hybrid approach up the green opening and rolled it to 5 feet.  His three natural pars in the inward half, including one on the long 18th, were critical in supporting Sergio’s first Keepers win.  Arnie played full Denny’s Grand Slam Beef Fry n’ Egg with Kuchar as he covered his partner’s three bad holes on 1, 3, and 9 with natural pars.

The three-way tie for third in the Nationals at Net 62 was a quasi Bundestag Slam  including Mark A. Goldstein and Martin Kaymer, Hamilton Loeb and Thomas Pieters, and Cary Reines and Martin Kaymer winning sweeps for the Motherland.  Hamilton and Cary are Keepers Freshman who apparently are anxious to mark their territory on the Keepers Kup leaderboard.

The Net Pars or Better Kash Game raised the first $430 toward The Keepers year-end military charity donation and paid out an equivalent amount to seven Keepers who led this kompetition.

Net Pars or Better Payouts:

1st  Len Goldman 22 Points  $120 kash

2nd Howard Wollner 21 Points $90 kash

3rd Keith Eig  20 Points $80 kash

T-4th  Arnie Miller and Paul Cohen 19 Points $50 kash each

T-6th  Phil Schulman and Artie Aronoff 18 Points $20 kash each

Thanks to all who  participated in support of this effort.

Howard Wollner-America Division Winner
Arnie Miller and Herbie Kushner-National Division Winners



(Click to see the Pro-Schmo Results and Prizing)

Keepers Kup Finale 2016-Results

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It has been eight years in the making but the Kommish, Moe Dweck, has validated his inaugural Keepers Kup victory from 2008 with a win of the 9th Keepers Kup Finale earning him a second book end Kopper Kup as the winner of the Year Long Keepers Kup Kompetition.

Shooting an impressive 80-Net 69 he tied with Ron “Where Have You Been All Year” Hirschel who shot 100-Net 69 for the Silver Kup as the co-winners of the Keepers Kup Finale today on the North Course.  Finishing third in the Finale was Arnie “20-20” Miller who shot 84-Net 70.


Moe was breathing rarefied air all day as he shot 39 on the front with a sweet birdie on 6 and then came home in 41 on the back with 6 pars against a couple of troublesome double bogies down the last three holes.  The putter was particularly sharp as he sunk three ten footers for par on 11, 12, and 14 taking only 31 putts on the day with no three-putts.

Hirschel had a bit of his own magic going after a middling 53 on the front, he came back with a strong 47 on the back including a clutch birdie to a very tough pin on 13 and a par-bogie finish on the last two holes to seal the deal.

For the Year Long Keepers Kup Kompetition itself, finishing second behind The Kommish was Neal “Lead Dog” Bobys followed by Rich “Searching For Chemical Balance” Greenberg in third and Marc “Iron Man” Birnbaum in fourth.   Len “The Plumber” Goldman’s net 71 was fourth in the Finale Event, helping him finish 5th in the Kup followed by Hirschel who moved from 30th to 6th in the standings with his showing today.  The 7th and 8th spot in the Final Kup Standings belonged to Howard “Stogie” Wollner and Steve “I Am Getting Used to 13” Keller respectively.

Final Kup Standings and Prizes:

1st  Moe Dweck   Net 69   1st Kopper Kup, T-1st Silver Kup, and $575 Kash Sweeps

2nd Neal Bobys   NP  2nd Kopper Kup and $350 Kash Sweeps

3rd Rich Greenberg  Net 76  3rd Kopper Kup and $250 Kash Sweeps

4th Marc Birnbaum  Net 75  $175 Kash Sweeps

5th Len Goldman  Net 71  $125 Kash Sweeps

6th Ron Hirschel  Net 69  T-1st Silver Kup and $175 Kash Sweeps

7th Howard Wollner  Net 75  $75 Kash Sweeps

8th Steve Keller  Net 72  $50 Kash Sweeps

Arnie Miller Net 70  $25 Kash Sweeps for 3rd in the Finale Event

(Click to see the full result sheet from today’s Keepers Kup Finale)

We raised another $645 through the generosity of those who participated in our 50/50 Raffle today to benefit our annual donation to the military charities.  There were four winning tickets picked by the lovely Susan, each winner took home $150 in cash.




The smiling Mish....he had goals this year!
The smiling Mish….he had goals this year!

Special thanks to Konn-Aire Farrel (a.k.a. Luis during soccer season) for his ardent hard work in handling The Keepers business all season.


Keepers Alternate Shot Series Final 2016 Results

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Scottish TamThis year’s Final Fore of the Keepers Alternate Shot Series pitted an eclectic group of pairings against each other in a round-robin three 9-hole series of matches on the North Course to determine our finest foursomes team for 2016.

Right out of the gate Marc “Feel The Burn” Birnbaum and Howard “Stogie” Wollner lit it up winning three of the first four holes on the way to a commanding 6 to 3 win in the morning match against the Cherner Automotive Team of Stewart and Herbie.

The other match in the first nine was a hard fought draw at 4.5 points each between the teams of John “Freaky” Friedson and Paul “Bam Bam” Cohen and Neal “Lead Dog” Bobys and Eddie “On His Game” Cohen.

Flipping matches for the second nine the tide turned quickly as Birnbaum-Wollner’s flint could not find it’s spark and their fortunes were reversed by the Bobys-Cohen team that ran the table winning holes 12 thru 16 on their way to a 6 to 3 romp.  The Automotive Group found their smooth idle and ground out a 5.5 to 3.5 win over Freaky-Bam-Bam winning 2 of the last 3 holes on the back.

The Cherners pondering the work left to be done in the final session
The Cherners pondering the work left to be done in the final session

With a break for some Gatorade and bananas after two rounds the score stood: 

Bobys-E. Cohen  10.5   Wollner-Birnbaum 9    Cherner-Cherner 8.5   Friedson-P. Cohen 8

The deciding nine was back on the front of the North and the Cherner Automotive-Bobys/E. Cohen match was a see-saw battle but the Cherners got the upper hand in the middle holes to build a 4 to 2 lead in the match.  A split on points over the last three holes was enough for the Cherners to win the match 5.5 to 3.5 and create a first place tie at 14 points with Neal and Eddie.

So it came down to whether Feel the Birn and Stogie could rediscover their mojo and find a way to get to 14 to reach a playoff.  Freaky and Bam-Bam would hear none of that.  They made 5 pars and a birdie on holes 2 through 8 to storm from the back of to pack with a 6.5 to 2.5 win and steal the top spot with 14.5 points.  Game-Set-Match to the Blues Brothers.

Nothing like drafting the field....Paul and John come from behind to win it all!
Nothing like drafting the field….Paul and John come from behind to win it all!

The final tally:

1st Place  Friedson-P. Cohen   14.5 Points    $150 Sweeps   150 Kup Points

T-2nd      Bobys- E. Cohen         14 Points        $90 Sweeps      90 Kup Points

Cherner-Cherner        14 Points        $90 Sweeps      90 Kup Points

4th          Birnbaum-Wollner     11.5 Points     $50 Sweeps       50 Kup Points


(Click to see the Alt Shot Series Final Scoresheet)

Congratulations to all four teams for their stellar Foursomes play through the Alternate Shot Series.  Special thanks to Konn-Aire Farrell for his adept administration of the Final Fore Matches.