As we approach the midpoint of the Keepers X Kampaign, we were presented with a sultry summer day for the annual Keepers Beat The Pro Klassic. 39 Keepers kompeted in two divisions against the scores of 8 tour professionals from this year’s Memorial Tournament in a modified Stableford Match Play format for valuable Kup Points and Kash Sweeps.
In the American Division Marc Leishman didn’t see it coming as Jimmy “Bam Bam” Polsky smacked him upside the head for 36 points to win top honors and lap the field. This was total domination start to finish with 10 net birdies and a net eagle as Jimmy shot 80 on a difficult set-up on the North Bent playing off the 18 strokes his 110% handicap afforded.
Tied second in the American 9 furlongs back were Steve “Don’t Be Laughin’ At By Curve” Lustig and Artie “I Told You To Pay Attention” Aronoff who scored 27 points off Bubba Watson and Ricky Barnes respectively. Phil “Beware Of The Wounded Kat” Malet took down Bubba for fourth and tied fifth in the American with 24 points were Rusty “They Call Them Hot Metal For A Reason” Minkoff, Kevin “Bullseye” Bass, and Mike “Just Check The Top Of The Leaderboard” Selis.
The National Division was a very tightly kontested affair as Don “The Don” Rogers worked a little family magic of his own taking down Hideki Matsuyama for 27 points. After winning two of the first three holes The Don konserved his energy for spell before stepping on the gas to win 6 of the last 11 on the way to first place in the National.
Tied second were Frank “Practice Makes Perfect” Crantz and John “Freakyazoid” Friedson who beat Bubba and Phil for 26 points each. A log jam for fourth included Arthur “So This Is A Sport” Dubin, Nelson “First Among Cohens” Cohen, Mark “S” Goldstein, and Ron “Remember The Finale” Hirschel who scored 25 points each against their pro opponents.
1st- Jimmy Polsky 300 Kup Points $100 Kash Sweeps
T-2nd- Steve Lustig and Artie Aronoff 175 Kup Points $40 Kash Sweeps each
4th- Phil Malet 100 Kup Points
T-5th- Kevin Bass, Rusty Minkoff, and Mike Selis 50 Kup Points each
1st- Don Rogers 300 Kup Points $100 Kash Sweeps
T-2nd- Frank Crantz and John Friedson 175 Kup Points $40 Kash Sweeps each
T-4th- Nelson Cohen, Arthur Dubin, Mark S. Goldstein, and Ron Hirschel 50 Kup Points each
Mount Rushmore-The 7th Inning Stretch-was a wild and wooly affair with 40 Keepers representing four Presidential teams in our annual Kolor War Team Event. The event format included Stage 1 Matches of 9 hole Two-Man Scramble, Stage 2 Matches of 9 hole parallel Two-Man Best Ball and Not-So-Best Ball, and Stage 3’s hand-to-hand individual scrums of Short Game Skills at The Sid.
Team Teddy, kaptained by the always acerbic Howard “Stogie” Wollner, ran rough shod over the field with a lightening charge in Stage 2 and Stage 3 to score 504 points and win the whole shooting match.
In the Stage 1 Scramble Matches Team Abe took a decisive 10-point lead on the back of across-the-roster heroics. Keith Eig-Billy Burak (21 points), Len Goldman-Steve Lustig (20 points), Rich Sussman-Tom Burne (24 points), Dave Benson-Monroe Brett (22 points), and Art Blitz-Rick Brecher (16 points) together tallied 104 points to open up a gap on the field.
Team Teddy found their ballast in Stage 2’s parallel Best Ball and Not-So-Best Ball Matches with Artie Aronoff-Bill Artz (46 points), Kaptain Wollner-Ronnie Rosenberg (42 points), and Mike Fisher-Paul Cohen (42 points) fomenting the comeback as they dominated with 208 points to take a commanding lead.
But with the five Stage 3 Short Game Skills-Normandy Beach, Dumbo’s Rump, Phil’s Pholly, Born To Run, and Lag Time-still to go it was not “over until it was over”. The heroics in this stage came from Ronnie “I know my way around Green” Greenbaum and Arnie “It Is Not All About The Drivin'” Aronoff who both won 4 out of 5 skills in their respective groups as Team Teddy scored 202 points as a team to consolidate their lead and take home the $50-a-man Team Sweeps.
A side note on the Short Game Challenge, there were three hole-outs worth 50 bonus Keepers Kup Points to each man by Steve “MVP” Lustig, Joe “Rump Management” Baldinger, and Moe “New Grooves” Dweck.
Team MVP’s for each squad scored 200 Keepers Kup Points as well as the swell Bobbling Head Trophy of their President. Keepers Kup Points were awarded to the top three individual performers on each team so there were plenty of points to go around.
First Place Team (504 points)- Team Teddy-Howard Wollner, Ronnie Rosenberg, Mike Fisher, Paul Cohen, Artie Aronoff, Bill Artz, Bob Cook, Jimmy Polsky, Norman Freidkin, and Ronnie Greenbaum $50 Kash Sweeps per man
Second Place Team (474 points)-Team Abe-Keith Eig, Billy Burak, Len Goldman, Steve Lustig, Rich Sussman, Tom Burne, Dave Benson, Monroe Brett, Art Blitz, and Rick Brecher $25 Kash Sweeps per man
The Players Pool Kash Game raised $370 for our Military Charity Donation at years end and awarded Kash Prizes to the top six individual point winners across the field.
1st- Ronnie Greenbaum (63 points) $110 kash
2nd Artie Aronoff (61 points) $90 kash
3rd Steve Lustig 57 points $70 kash
4th Alan Levine (56 Points) $50 kash
5th Len Goldman (55 points) $30 kash
6th Mike Selis (53 points) $20 kash.
Thanks to Konnor and his staff crew for putting on a great show for us in Keepers X Kolor War 2017.
Nine teams of short order chefs participated in last nights Keepers Flap Jacks on a perfectly tranquil evening on the North Course. Playing this unusual format that uses (2) Best Balls on the Odd Holes and (2) Not So Best Balls on the Even Holes it made sure that all three guys kept their attention on the pile of pancakes.
Team Iron Skillet, Marc “The Bronx Bantam” Fink-Ron “Show Me The Green Tee” Edlavitch-Rick “Don’t Call Me Mitch” Brecher-showed the most kulinary skill shooting at team 1 over par 73 to win the first prize points and kash sweeps. The manhandled the Five Pars 3 under par and survived the Par Threes on their way to a convincing team performance. All pars on best ball holes at 7 & 9 sealed the victory by one.
Tied second at 74 were Team Shoneys-Artie “Sign Me Up Again..And Again” Aronoff-Sol “You Ate What” Gordon-Mark “The One With The A” Goldstein-and Team Huddle House-Howard “Konnor Showed Me A Thing or Two” Wollner-Paul “Not Sure Why It’s Pablo” Cohen-Gene “Every Young” Youngentob.
Flap Jacks Prizes:
1st Mark Fink, Ron Edlavitch, Rick Brecher 150 Kup Points $50 Kash Sweeps each
T-2nd Artie Aronoff, Sol Gordon, M.A. Goldstein, Howard Wollner, Paul Cohen, Gene Youngentob 105 Kup Points $20 Kash Sweeps each
4th Rich Sussman, Harry Harrison, Ronnie Greenbaum 60 Kup Points Each
5th Allen Zweig, Steve Keller, Rick Cohen 30 Kup Points Each
In the Players Pool Kash Game of individual Low Net it was Artie with an artful Net 35 getting $60 and Ron Edlavitch and Howard Wollner with Net 36’s getting $25 each. We added another $115 to our Military Contributions for the end of the year thanks to the participation of 22 guys in this game.
The interest level in our annual Par Three Tournament has been growing in leaps and bounds as husbands and wives, parents and their children, juniors, and a whole lot more kompeted in the 2017 iteration called “Short Circuit”. The Par 54 18-hole design, which featured a few new twists and turns curated by the firm of D & D & W & F, challenged the creativity and skill of 132 Woodmont members, including 44 Keepers, on a warm and sultry spring day.
Great fun was had by all…..Phil Malet got his day started in style with his first career Hole-In-One on the first hole “Ben Franklin” setting off a mishbucha celebration for the ages. Under our adopted Keepers Excellence In Action Policy Phil got 100 Keepers points for this “perfect swing” to go along with lots of high fives.
For The Keepers we prized Kup Points to the top five net groups with Keepers. The formidable group of Howard Isaacson, Rick Brecher, Neal Bobys, and Paul Cohen scorched the bent grass with 41.7 net to take the top Keepers prize. Not far behind were Arnie Miller, Phil Schulman, and Mike Selis whose group shot 43.2 net.
1st Net-Howard Isaacson, Rick Brecher, Neal Bobys, and Paul Cohen 41.7 net 300 Kup Points each
2nd Net-Arnie Miller, Phil Schulman, and Mike Selis 43.2 net 200 Kup Points each
3rd Net-Jimmy Polsky, Barry Minkoff, Billy Burak and Mike Fisher 44 net 150 Kup Points each
T-4th Net-Gary Faigen, Cary Reines, and Arthur Dubin 44.7 net 75 Kup Points each
T-4th Net-Moe Dweck and Marc Fink 44.7 net 75 Kup Points each
The day’s field was so large tournament officials had to split the atom and go to two flights based on team handicaps which provided more spoils to be distributed among winners in gross and net categories. As you can see in the winners covered all age groups and genders. Some of them will have their sweeps placed in trust so as not to endanger their amateur status.
(click on the scoreboard to enlarge the image resolution)
Special thanks to Konnor Farrell and his staff for their yeoman’s effort in planning, organizing, and putting on this fabulous event for our membership.
Keepers X 2017 got off to a rollicking start on Sunday with 46 members of the band sporting the Keepers Footjoy Fashions and participating in our annual Pro-Schmo. All the regular culprits were there plus a few fresh faces as well as the kompetition heated up very quickly on the zoysia grass.
Howard “Been Holed Up In Rockville” Wollner teamed with Thomas Pieters on the way to shooting a seismic Net 58 to win the American Division. In spite of his story of being kooped up with klient columns and rows the last month, there is reason to suspect he has making surreptitious visits to Swing-Tec for off season swing tuning. Helping Thomas with a natural birdie on the sixth and then a 3-5-4-5 finish down the closing four, Howard skated home to a three-shot win in his division.
There was a four-way tie for second in the American at Net 61 with Len “Still Got Pimento Under My Fingernails” Goldman and Kootch, Steve “Smelled The Azaelas” Keller and Sergio, Artie “Didn’t Have My A Game Today” Aronoff and Brooks Koepka, and Keith “No Language Barrier Here” Eig and Hedeki Matsuyama. Len and Steve apparently took advantage of some live face time with their Virtual Pards down at The Masters last week to enhance team performance. Kaptin Keith used some recent A-Team play to ready his game and Artie was Artie just drummin’ out pars on the way to a fine finish.
In the National Division it was Herbie “True Shoes” Kushner with Sergio and Arnie “Can You Read The Bottom Line Please” Miller with Kootch shooting Net 61 to take their grouping top honors. Drone footage shows an amazing natural birdie on 9 by Herbie as he slipped his hybrid approach up the green opening and rolled it to 5 feet. His three natural pars in the inward half, including one on the long 18th, were critical in supporting Sergio’s first Keepers win. Arnie played full Denny’s Grand Slam Beef Fry n’ Egg with Kuchar as he covered his partner’s three bad holes on 1, 3, and 9 with natural pars.
The three-way tie for third in the Nationals at Net 62 was a quasi Bundestag Slam including Mark A. Goldstein and Martin Kaymer, Hamilton Loeb and Thomas Pieters, and Cary Reines and Martin Kaymer winning sweeps for the Motherland. Hamilton and Cary are Keepers Freshman who apparently are anxious to mark their territory on the Keepers Kup leaderboard.
The Net Pars or Better Kash Game raised the first $430 toward The Keepers year-end military charity donation and paid out an equivalent amount to seven Keepers who led this kompetition.
Net Pars or Better Payouts:
1st Len Goldman 22 Points $120 kash
2nd Howard Wollner 21 Points $90 kash
3rd Keith Eig 20 Points $80 kash
T-4th Arnie Miller and Paul Cohen 19 Points $50 kash each
T-6th Phil Schulman and Artie Aronoff 18 Points $20 kash each
Thanks to all who participated in support of this effort.
It has been eight years in the making but the Kommish, Moe Dweck, has validated his inaugural Keepers Kup victory from 2008 with a win of the 9th Keepers Kup Finale earning him a second book end Kopper Kup as the winner of the Year Long Keepers Kup Kompetition.
Shooting an impressive 80-Net 69 he tied with Ron “Where Have You Been All Year” Hirschel who shot 100-Net 69 for the Silver Kup as the co-winners of the Keepers Kup Finale today on the North Course. Finishing third in the Finale was Arnie “20-20” Miller who shot 84-Net 70.
Moe was breathing rarefied air all day as he shot 39 on the front with a sweet birdie on 6 and then came home in 41 on the back with 6 pars against a couple of troublesome double bogies down the last three holes. The putter was particularly sharp as he sunk three ten footers for par on 11, 12, and 14 taking only 31 putts on the day with no three-putts.
Hirschel had a bit of his own magic going after a middling 53 on the front, he came back with a strong 47 on the back including a clutch birdie to a very tough pin on 13 and a par-bogie finish on the last two holes to seal the deal.
For the Year Long Keepers Kup Kompetition itself, finishing second behind The Kommish was Neal “Lead Dog” Bobys followed by Rich “Searching For Chemical Balance” Greenberg in third and Marc “Iron Man” Birnbaum in fourth. Len “The Plumber” Goldman’s net 71 was fourth in the Finale Event, helping him finish 5th in the Kup followed by Hirschel who moved from 30th to 6th in the standings with his showing today. The 7th and 8th spot in the Final Kup Standings belonged to Howard “Stogie” Wollner and Steve “I Am Getting Used to 13” Keller respectively.
Final Kup Standings and Prizes:
1st Moe Dweck Net 69 1st Kopper Kup, T-1st Silver Kup, and $575 Kash Sweeps
2nd Neal Bobys NP 2nd Kopper Kup and $350 Kash Sweeps
3rd Rich Greenberg Net 76 3rd Kopper Kup and $250 Kash Sweeps
4th Marc Birnbaum Net 75 $175 Kash Sweeps
5th Len Goldman Net 71 $125 Kash Sweeps
6th Ron Hirschel Net 69 T-1st Silver Kup and $175 Kash Sweeps
7th Howard Wollner Net 75 $75 Kash Sweeps
8th Steve Keller Net 72 $50 Kash Sweeps
Arnie Miller Net 70 $25 Kash Sweeps for 3rd in the Finale Event
We raised another $645 through the generosity of those who participated in our 50/50 Raffle today to benefit our annual donation to the military charities. There were four winning tickets picked by the lovely Susan, each winner took home $150 in cash.
Special thanks to Konn-Aire Farrel (a.k.a. Luis during soccer season) for his ardent hard work in handling The Keepers business all season.
This year’s Final Fore of the Keepers Alternate Shot Series pitted an eclectic group of pairings against each other in a round-robin three 9-hole series of matches on the North Course to determine our finest foursomes team for 2016.
Right out of the gate Marc “Feel The Burn” Birnbaum and Howard “Stogie” Wollner lit it up winning three of the first four holes on the way to a commanding 6 to 3 win in the morning match against the Cherner Automotive Team of Stewart and Herbie.
The other match in the first nine was a hard fought draw at 4.5 points each between the teams of John “Freaky” Friedson and Paul “Bam Bam” Cohen and Neal “Lead Dog” Bobys and Eddie “On His Game” Cohen.
Flipping matches for the second nine the tide turned quickly as Birnbaum-Wollner’s flint could not find it’s spark and their fortunes were reversed by the Bobys-Cohen team that ran the table winning holes 12 thru 16 on their way to a 6 to 3 romp. The Automotive Group found their smooth idle and ground out a 5.5 to 3.5 win over Freaky-Bam-Bam winning 2 of the last 3 holes on the back.
With a break for some Gatorade and bananas after two rounds the score stood:
Bobys-E. Cohen 10.5 Wollner-Birnbaum 9 Cherner-Cherner 8.5 Friedson-P. Cohen 8
The deciding nine was back on the front of the North and the Cherner Automotive-Bobys/E. Cohen match was a see-saw battle but the Cherners got the upper hand in the middle holes to build a 4 to 2 lead in the match. A split on points over the last three holes was enough for the Cherners to win the match 5.5 to 3.5 and create a first place tie at 14 points with Neal and Eddie.
So it came down to whether Feel the Birn and Stogie could rediscover their mojo and find a way to get to 14 to reach a playoff. Freaky and Bam-Bam would hear none of that. They made 5 pars and a birdie on holes 2 through 8 to storm from the back of to pack with a 6.5 to 2.5 win and steal the top spot with 14.5 points. Game-Set-Match to the Blues Brothers.
The final tally:
1st Place Friedson-P. Cohen 14.5 Points $150 Sweeps 150 Kup Points
T-2nd Bobys- E. Cohen 14 Points $90 Sweeps 90 Kup Points
Cherner-Cherner 14 Points $90 Sweeps 90 Kup Points
4th Birnbaum-Wollner 11.5 Points $50 Sweeps 50 Kup Points
Congratulations to all four teams for their stellar Foursomes play through the Alternate Shot Series. Special thanks to Konn-Aire Farrell for his adept administration of the Final Fore Matches.