We had 27 short order chefs participating in this year’s Keepers Flap Jacks on a sultry summer evening on the North Course. Playing this unusual format that uses (2) Best Balls on the Odd Holes and (2) Not So Best Balls on the Even Holes it made sure that all three guys kept their attention on the pile of pancakes.
Top honors for the evening went to Iron Skillet and IHOP who showed the most kulinary kunning shooting 70 to win the team kompetition. Iron Skillet, led by Phil “Squeeze Play” Schulman, Mike “They All Kount” Selis, and Arnie “Fit as a Fiddle” Miller ,dominated the Best Ball holes at 5-under on there way to a winning performance. Through strong individual play of Steve “Latte” Lerman, Artie “Smoothie” Aronoff, and Ronnie “Frappe” Rosenberg, posting individual net scores of 35, 34, and 37 respectively, IHOP matched the winning total to share in the first prize points and kash sweeps.
Tied third at 71 were Team Huddle House-Jimmy “Short Order” Polsky, Larry “Kool Hand” Jacobs, and “Marquee” Mark Miller-and Team Dennys-with the brothers Don and Michael Fisher and Brian “No Violation” Fein.
In the Players Pool Kash Game of individual Low Net it was Mark Miller and Mike Selis tied first with Net 33 getting $40 each and Billy Burak and Artie Aronoff with Net 34’s tied third getting $20 each. We added another $110 to our Military Contributions for the end of the year thanks to the participation of 23 guys in this game.
Today’s Keepers Beat The Pro pitted 48 Keepers against the Thursday U.S. Open scores from Pebble Beach of some of the world’s finest flat bellies in a man-on-man, no-holds-barred kompetition. Separated into American and National League Divisions by handicap range, the Keepers got 110% handicap on the South Course in a Stableford Scoring format where they gleaned 3 points for each hole they won and 1 point for each hole they tied. Seasoned pros like McIlroy, Rahm, Koepka, Garcia, and DeChambeau are still smarting from the experience.
In the American League Division Bobby “Jack Lalanne” Fogel put on a performance for the ages scoring 30 points against two-time reigning U.S. Open Champion Brooks Koepka. At 80 years young, the ageless wonder had 4 pars in 5 holes on the outward half shooting a gross 40. He backed it up with four more pars between 11 and 15 and threw in a natural birdie on the finishing hole winning 6 out of the last 8 holes on his way to a bookend 40 on the back nine. Bobby got 300 valuable Keepers Kup Points and $100 in Kash Sweeps shooting a dominating 80 off the Blue/Green Combo Tees on the zoysia.
Finishing second alone in this division was Alan “Swing Version 3.2 B” Levine who put the ack-acks on Martin “Luftwaffe” Kaymer with 27 points earning 200 Kup Points and $50 in Kash Sweeps. T-3rd were last year’s winner Jim “I Own This Event” Ackerman and Artie “On The Move” Aronoff who carded 25 points each against Brooks Koepka.
In the National League Division it was Bruce “Just Learning The System” Dubinsky who dominated Sergio “I Stink” Garcia shooting gross 42-48-90 on his way to 30 points. Bruce won 6 holes on the front nine to rack up 19 points and backed it up winning 16 and 17 to close out his victory and earn 300 Kup Points and $100 in walk-around sweeps. Eddie “Squeeze Play” Cohen and Arthur “Your Are Gonna Find Out I Can Play” Dubin scored 29 points each on Bryson “The Engineer” DeChambeau and Rory “I Got My Swagger Back” McIlroy for second place honors of 175 Kup Points and $40 Kash Sweeps each.
Thanks to Konnor, Grant, and the rest of the staff who set up and administered this afternoon’s festivities.
Playing under clear skies and in sultry summer conditions this year’s Keepers Kolor War pitted four scavenging squads in a day-long battle for Varmint Supremacy. The day’s event included Short Game Skills, Two-Man Modified Alternate Shot, and Two-Man Net Best Ball kompetitions.
The day began with Short Game Skills at the SID where four guys showed supreme short game wizardry notching 10 points or more. Larry “LJ Kool” Jacobs seemed right at home and was the only one who scored points in each of the four skills. Mike “Who’s Buying” Sellis got 4 points at “Goose Poop” the tight grass pitch and 5 points at the cross country putt “As The Crow Flies” on the way to an 11 point tally. Allen “Pelz” Zweig got 11 points himself including hitting the circle twice at “Deer Tracks” the elusive bunker shot station. Ron “Tex” Hirschel tallied 10 points with a 5-3-2 point combination at “Goose Poop”, ” As The Crow Flies”, and “Howling At The Moon”, the forced carry pitch shot over a bunker. By 9:30 am Team Gooses had 58 points and a kommanding 16-point lead after one session.
But that was not going to last as Team Coyotes turned the kompetition on it’s head with 112 points in the 2-Man Modified Alternate Shot Stage with 20-plus point performances across their entire dance card. Premo 24-point performances from Moe “Up and Down” Dweck and Keith “Nasdaq” Eig (the man has some beta) and Mark A. “Catch Me If You Can” Goldstein and Alan “The Terp Is Back” Schwartz earned them a 20 point advantage over the field after Stage Two. The best performance of this stage was turned in by the duo of Arnie “Power Sticks” Miller and Marc “In Fast Recovery” Fink who got 30 points for Team Crow. The Deer got solid help from Sol “Father of the Mascot” Gordon and Larry “LJ Kool” Jacobs who notched 26 points.
In the final phase, the Two-Man Net Best Ball matches, the Coyotes held the Crows at bay eaking out 96 points with 24 point kontributions from Rick “No Brakes” Brecher and “Willie” Nelson Cohen and an additional 22 from the Dweck-Eig tandem.
When the kalculating was done Team Coyotes won the team kompetition by 25 points with a konvincing 242 total to earn $50 in Kash Sweeps per man. Team Crows finished second with 217 points earning their guys $25 in Kash Sweeps a piece.
The Keepers Kup Points in this event go to the top three individual point performers on each of the Varmint Squads. The lead MVPs got the “understated” MVP Bronze Medallion and 200 Kup Points per man and the second and third place get 100 and 50 Kup points respectively.
Team MVP Results:
Moe Dweck Medallion and 200 Kup Points
Rick Brecher 100 Kup Points
Keith Eig 50 Kup Points
Steve Keller Medallion and 200 Kup Points
Rick Payes and Marc Fink 75 Kup Points Each
Allen Zweig Medallion and 200 Kup Points
Ron Hirschel and Mike Selis 75 Kup Points Each
Larry Jacobs Medallion and 200 Kup Points
Rich Greenberg 100 Kup Points
Sol Gordon 50 Kup Points
The Players 50-50 Kash Raffle generated another $560 toward our year-end Military Charities Donation. Four winning tickets were picked from the Corona Can which yielded $125 for the lucky winner’s grandchildren.
Thanks to all 40 guys who made this year’s Kolor War a success. Special thanks to Konnor Farrell, Grant Strawoet, and Cory Wessellman for preparing the playing fields and shepherding all the varmints throughout the day’s kompetition.
In the face of threatening weather, over 40 Keepers showed up to stage our annual Keepers Pro Schmo with a little help from 8 of their virtual friends. Playing the “New North” the Keepers got to experience the changes to the front nine green complexes that have been under wraps all winter.
Top honors in the National League Division went to Ron “Big Sky” Hirschel who teamed with fiesty Ian Poulter to shoot Net 61 on their better ball. Tied second with Net 62 were Steve “Gordo” Gordon/Jon Rahm and Guy “Parfait” Berliner/Phil Mickelson.
In the American League it was Mike “Not Lew” Selis who carried Kevin Kisner on his back on their way to a shooting Net 62 to win their division. A bit of a traffic jam developed in second place with Net 63 involving Steve “Peleton” Lustig/Kiradech Aphibarnrat, Len “The Plumber” Goldman/Justin Harding, and Bobby “Jack Lalanne” Fogel/Kiradech Aphibarnrat. Fortunately no air bags were deployed.
The Net Pars or Better Kash Game raised the first $350 toward The Keepers year-end military charity donations and paid out some walk around Kash Money to six Keepers who led this kompetition.
Net Pars or Better Payouts:
1st Ron Hirschel 24 Points $100 kash
T-2nd Paul Cohen and Mike Selis 20 Points $75 kash each
T-4th Len Goldman, Sol Gordon, and Rich Greenberg 19 Points $30 kash each
The season ramps up quickly as we move into May with a Four-Club, Kolor War, and the first two of the Alt-Shot Series matches coming your way. Stay tuned for the announcements and sign ups over the next few weeks. Thanks to all who participated in kicking off our 12th Keepers Season.
Some things are worth waiting for but we might have tested the merit of that wisdom. as it took us four months before we finally got the Final Fore of the Keepers Kahootz Alternate Shot Series in the books.
There were four battle tested teams that survived the first three matches in May, June, and July and were still vying for the super kool trophies and a piece of the $750 in sweeps in the final two matches held this month. Points scored in these matches would determine the final order of merit for the prizing.
The contestants for the Final Fore matches were:
Mike “Koach” Fisher and Ronnie “I Am Due” Rosenberg
Randy “Been There Before” Weiss and Mark “M.A.” Goldstein
Len “The Plumber” Goldman and Moe “The Kommish” Dweck
Steve “The Breeze” Lerman and Ron “Slow Glide” Edlavitch
Giving six shots in the first of the Final Fore matches, Fisher and Rosenberg had their work cut out for them. Closely kontested through the first six holes it was 3-3 heading to the 7th Tee. There were no halved holes on the front side, in fact only two halved holes in the entire match.
But Mike and Ronnie started to assert themselves winning 5 of the next 7 holes from 7 to 13 taking kontrol of the match by four points. Two forgetables on 14 and 15 gave Weiss-Goldstein some hope, but some forgetables of their own left them reeling and Fisher and Rosenberg closed out the match 11 to 7, setting a high bar to beat in the other match.
In the second match Lenny and Moe volleyed back and forth with Steve and Ron through the front 8 making the mini-turn up 4 1/2 to 3 1/2. But on the back 10, The Plumber and The Kommish put on a Ham and Egg Routine that would make any Waffle House manager proud as they did not lose a hole the rest of the way.
With two holes to play they needed to will a half and a win to break through the 11 point barrier and snatch the whole kitten kaboodle. That is what they did, grinding out the win 11 1/2 to 6 1/2.
We set a Keepers record with 24 teams, 48 players kompeting in this year’s Alternate Shot Series. This format is fast, furious, and fun and will undoubtedly be back for a fifth iteration next spring. I am sure there are a couple of teams already chomping at the bit for another opportunity to be the Foursomes Champions of The Keepers.
Play for P.I.N.K is one of the biggest annual fund raising events run by the Ladies of Woodmont and the men have shown support for this effort the last two years with a Men’s Play For P.I.N.K. Tournament.
All those participating made a $50 donation to Play for P.I.N.K. which uses the proceeds to support Breast Cancer Research. 40 players participated this year, and The Keepers provided the Kash Sweeps Prizes for the low net scores of the event.
This year’s winner was Mike Selis who shot a 3-Under net score, followed by Kevin Bass who took second at 1-Under. Here is the list of the Kash Sweeps Winners:
1st Place Mike Selis 3-Under $100 Kash Sweeps
2nd Place Kevin Bass 1-Under $70 Kash Sweeps
T-3rd Place Artie Aronoff, Jim Polsky, Sam Werner, and Harry Harrison Even Par $32.50 Kash Sweeps
Thanks to everyone who supported this year’s Men’s Play For P.I.N.K. that raised over $2,000 for this worthy cause.
The Golf Goddesses manipulated a few low pressure systems on our behalf and, as a result, we were able to get in the Season Ending Keeper Kup Finale over the weekend. 39 Keepers kompeted for the Kopper Kups, Piles of Sweeps, and some Kash Winnings. This was no ride in the park as the North Course played long because of the recent rains and the rough was gnarly. The day would prove to be a test of perseverance.
The Lead Dog going into the Finale was Marc “I am sticking with the Ping” Birnbaum who has had a tremendous run of form the last two months on the Keepers circuit. If the challenge was not to come from the rest of the top five, Marc would have to grind out a competent round to hold his position and the Keepers Kup at the end of the day. He did just that shooting 82 net 74 to tie 11th in the Finale and hold on to win the year-long kompetition.
In a rabid come-from-behind wave from Lakewood expatriates, the top two spots in the Kup Finale went to Don Fisher and Howie Stein respectively. Don shot a 73 net 67 on a very challenging course. He was 3-Over through the first three holes but played the inward nine in 2-under 34 to take the top prize for the Kup Finale, the embroidered Keepers K Flag, and a bunch of sweeps. This also vaulted him from 17th to 2nd in the Final Keepers Kup Standings which will earn him a Kopper Kup and more sweeps.
Howie Stein, the reigning Keepers Match Play Champion, was almost Don’s equal shooting a 76 net 69 to take second place in the Finale and move up to 8th in the Keepers Kup Standings to grab the last spot in the Kash Sweeps Payoff Line. Steve Keller had a 85 net 70 to take third in the Finale.
The highlight of the day for five Keepers was the random drawing of the 50/50 raffle which paid off $145 per man. Through the generosity of all who participated, we raised an additional $745 for beneficiary organizations to our Year End Military Donations-Folds of Honor, SMGA/Wounded Vets, Israeli Defense Wounded Veterans, and the Links To Freedom.
Yesterday’s kompetition was a perfect ending to the Keepers 11th Season. We appreciate the work of Konnor and the golf staff in helping put on this traveling circus all year. Special thanks to all of you whose enthusiastic participation in our Keepers events through the year make the Keepers program something special.
The Year-Long Keepers Match Play for 2018 was our annual off-road test-guys had to survive extreme conditions in 5 matches against players of similar handicap to win their bracket. The Bracket Winners then had to win two more matches in the Final Fore to kash in on the prizes.
We started in April with over 100 Keepers, and it took five months of single elimination matches to get through this kompetition. There were lots of heroics-come from behind victories, extra hole Sudden Death Playoffs, and grind it out gritty golf-before we whittled it down to the Final Fore.
Howie Stein Augusta Bracket Rich Greenberg Shinnecock Hills Bracket
Rick Goldstein Carnoustie Bracket Eddie Cohen Bellerive Bracket.
The Final Fore brought more kompelling dramatics. In the Semi-Final round, Howie “I Can Play Nice With Anyone” Stein beat Rick “Now You Know Who I Am” Goldstein, the Carnoustie champion, to get to the final match. Rich “Kojak” Greenberg outlasted Eddie “Two on Nobody Out” Cohen, the Bellerive winner in the other Semi-Final.
The Final Match was played on a hot and sticky September morning on the North Course which measured over 6400 yards from the tees they were playing. No roll in the fairway and wet and gnarly rough put a premium on keeping your ball between the hash marks. With only 3 shots being given in the match between Howie and Rich, it was destined to be a tight affair.
A little nervy, they tied the opening hole with matching bogies. For Howie it was fairways and greens the rest of the outward nine as he threw down 8 pars in a row to shoot a strong gross 37 and build up a commanding 3 up lead at the turn. Needing a drastic change in the character of play Kojak could not find his ballast on the back going 5-over in the first five and succumbing to the relentless Stein Express 5 & 4.
The Keepers Match Play remains the centerpiece of the Keepers Season and the change in the brackets to align players of similar ability was a big hit. This made for some very fiesty matches throughout the kompetition. Congratulations to all our deserving bracket champions and the King of them all Howie Stein.
Payoffs for the final fore:
1st Place Howie Stein Overall Winner’s Trophy, Augusta Winner’s Plaque- 200 Additional Kup Points Earned- $300 Kash Sweeps
2nd Place Rich Greenberg Shinnecock Hills Winner’s Plaque- 100 Additional Kup Points Earned- $200 Kash Sweeps
T-3rd Place Rick Goldstein and Eddie Cohen- Carnoustie and Bellerive Winner’s Plaques and 50 Additional Kup Points Earned- $100 Kash Sweeps each man
The last weekday night event of the Keepers season attracted 40 of our guys in a new format we called Keepers Blind Fours. Playing net best ball as a two-man team each pair played 12 holes on the South Course with the goal being to win the most points in three blind draw 4-hole matches officiated at dinner.
It was a noisy and rowdy atmosphere at dinner when cards were randomly pulled from the Keepers Sack and cards were matched and points were kalculated.
Busting out of the gate for 8 points in the first 4-hole match Eddie “Two On Nobody Out” Cohen and Monroe “Been on IR and back” Brett took a kommanding lead with the next nearest teams garnering 5 points in the first session. They backed it up nicely with steady play scoring 5 and 3 points respectively in the last two 4-hole stanzas to get 16 points and notch the victory worth 150 Kup Points and $100 in Kash Sweeps per man.
Three teams tied for second with 15 points-Howard “Stogie” Wollner/Marc “Walking Man” Birnbaum, Randy “I Got This” Weiss/Mark “A” Goldstein, and Michael “Don’t Leave Me Out” Levy/Don “The Other Fish” Fisher-winning 90 Kup Points and $25 Kash Sweeps per man. Howard Vogel and Ed Wallach snuck into third with 14 points for 30 Kup Points each.
Thanks to all who participated tonight and Barker Konnor Farrell for his adept handling of the scorecard mayhem.
This was our second time around with The Pinehurst Glenmorangie, a novel two-man format which blended a bit of Scramble and a hint of Alternate Shot into an original tasteful single malt offering. Picking their own partners the guys had to hit their drives, swap balls for the second shot, and then pick the best result to play the rest of the way into the hole alternate shot. The objective for the day is low team net and it would take something in the mid-sixties to be in the money.
What is kool about this version is that to win you have to play the Par 3’s well, getting two balls on the green to give your team more opportunities for net birdies or better. The 5 Pars on the other hand are high pressure seeing that they are shot holes where a net par probably loses a shot to the field.
The kompetition proved tight with only two shots separating all the guys who ended up in the money. Howard “Stogie” Wollner and Marc “I Am Getting Used To Pointing At The Scoreboard” Birnbaum edged out the field with a fine net 65 on the South Course. Let it be noted that course improvement work left us with three Par 3’s in the last five holes and it was very important to apply principle #1 above to be successful today.
Three teams of widely variant resumes managed to post 66 to tie for second. Allen “Letting It All Hang Out” Zweig teamed with Jimmy “Here and There” Polsky to post one 66. Len “You Got 24 Hour Plumbing Needs” Goldman and Moe “The Kommish with two “M’s” Dweck posted another. The third pairing at this number was Mike “Don’t Give My Points To My Brother” Selis who played very nicely with Arnie “I’ve Got Eyes For You” Miller. The last team in the money with net 67 was Mark “Time Clock” Goldstein and Randy “Edel” Weiss.
The Prizes (per man):
1st Place at Net 65 Marc Birnbaum/Howard Wollner 300 Kup Points and $100 Kash Sweeps
T-2nd Place at Net 66 Allen Zweig/Jimmy Polsky-Len Goldman/Moe Dweck-Mike Selis-Arnie Miller 150 Kup Points and $25 Kash Sweeps
5th Place at Net 67 Mark A. Goldstein/Randy Weiss 50 Kup Points
Thanks to the 36 guys who participated and to Konnor Farrell for his professional administration of today’s event.