Keepers Attmans Aces Down Results

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Attmans Deli LogoSeven three-man teams played in our first Keepers Attmans Aces Down event on a glorious evening. This event provided a new format that required each three-man team to pick 15 of their 27 individual net scores as they went. Their total of these net scores to par determined their Attman’s score.

Using various well thought out or possible random strategic approaches three teams tied for the top spot with net totals of 6-under.

The Len The Plumber-Freaky Friedson-Professor Brett team might have out thought themselves when they took a pair of pars on their 8th hole to get them to 14 scores because they could only use one of the two, apparently unexpected, net birdies they made on #9. With both of those birdies counting they would have won outright at 7-under.

The Woodstock Kleinman-Sky King Lipnick-Mark S Goldstein group played possum being only 1-under in the first five holes but they stormed back with five birdies over the last five to break the tape tied for first.

Kojak, Bobys, and The Cub Reporter George Solomon did something similar as got contribution through their ranks making up four shots in the last three holes with two net birdies and a net eagle.

This proved an entertaining format for all involved and will definitely make an appearance again next year in an 18-hole iteration.

AttmansAces Scoreboard

To cap the evening 10 hungry Keepers descended upon Attman’s Deli in Potomac to take advantage of the 20% off coupon Attman’s provided.   Good news was it was diet sodas for everyone….bad news was there are a significant number of corned beef and pastrami sandwiches now missing from Attman’s inventory.


(Click to see the full Attmans Aces Down results)



Keepers Match Play-Final Fore

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Keepers and GavelThe Keepers Year-Long Match Play has reached the money round of the Final Fore.  From here out the guys are playing for Kash Sweeps, Keepers Kup Points, and a shot at winning the Keepers Match Play Grid Plaque as the 2014 Match Play winner.

The Elite Eight matches were all tightly contested as Billy B Burak edged Tom Burn Notice Burnein the Augusta division, Kaptain Keith Eig got by David Renewed Ruben in the Pinehurst bracket, Mike Coach Fisher beat Howard Got One More Question Wollner on the last hole in the Royal Liverpool division, and Neal Bobys prevailed over Gary Abrahams in the Valhalla bracket.

This sets up the Final Fore match ups with Keith Eig seeking revenge over Billy Burak, a rematch of last year’s Elite Eight match up where Billy B took down the Kaptain out at Bandon Dunes and Mike Fisher against Neal Bobys in the other semi-final.

Congratulations to all four guys and good luck down the home stretch!

See how they got there and review the full grid of the Match Play by clicking here.

Keepers Ham n’ Egg Results

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Keepers and GavelSaturday’s Keepers Ham n Egg was a tightly played culinary event which pitched 14 Two-Man teams against each other in an every-other-hole-your-score-counts format.  The play was from the Gold Tees on a North Course with some attitude.  The overnight rains took some of the fire out of the fairways and made the rough gnarly so wandering drives paid a price.  The greens were cut and rolled before play and were at least uprights (11) on the stimpy meter.  Sneaky Pete had a few cliff hanger pin placements (#3, #4, #7, #14, and #18) where if you two putted you were picking up shots on the field.  With only 80% handicaps given the scoring was going to tough.

Given all of that some yolks were broken and a couple of flips were done as well but in the end the teams of Kaptin Keith Eig/Gary Abrahams and Sky King Lipnick/Marc Fleisher bested the field with a net score of 69 to earn 250 Keepers Kup Points and $75 in Kash Sweeps per man.  Tied for third were the pairings of Jim Boom Boom Polsky/Barry The Driving Machine Minkoff and Tom Ein/Rob Shesser with a net 70 for 125 Keepers Kup Points and $25 in Kash Sweeps per man.  Fifth alone were Neal I Got A New Number Bobys/Harry The Hipster Harrison with net 71 to gather 50 Keepers Kup Points each.

The Keepers Kup Standings tightened considerably with these developments as Kaptain Keith closed to within 21 points of Neal Bobys at the top of the heap.  Gary Abrahams, Bobby Lipnick, and Jimmy Polsky are now an established presence in the top 10 in the standings.

Ham n Egg Scoreboard


In the Players Pool Kash Kompetition it was individual low net with the same 80% handicap adjustment.  Howard Where Did He Come From Isaacson had 7 net birdies and 2 net eagles to offset a serious number of net doubles and bogies on his way to an 89-18-71 net to win the top prize of $100.  Tied for second at net 72 were Neal Bobys (86-14-72)  with five net birdies and a net eagle and Howard The Aged One Wollner (83-11-72) with six net birdies and a net eagle earning $40 each.  In a two way tie for 4th were Marc Fleisher and Gary Abrahams at net 73.

Thanks to all the guys who participated in the Players Pool which added another $240 to our collection pot that is now at $1500 to fund the year-end Keepers donations to the SMGA/Wounded Warriors and Folds of Honor Foundations.

(Click to see the full field team scoring of the Keepers Ham n Egg)

Keepers Kolor War-Results

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Hot Shops LogoFrom Tuesday’s draft four hungry teams were assembled to face 27 holes of varied formats today in hopes of taking home sweeps and bragging rights in the Hot Shoppes Revival-Keepers Kolor War Kompetition.  Playing for an iconic menu item the teams faced a sequence of Two-Man Alternate Shot, Two-Man Best Ball and Not So Best Ball, and Mano-a-Mano Almost Skins that always makes for a compelling day of golf where heroes can come from unexpected places.  And so it went today as the lead changed hands early and often and then it was hang on down the back stretch and outlast the field.

The Alternate Shot stanza is maybe the hardest as guys are uncomfortable when they must share destiny on ever other shot.  Strong performances by the Malet/Abrahams duo and Moe Mish/Country Doc Keller pairing put the Orange Freezes and Mighty Mo’s first and second after the opening nine.

Some of today’s kombatants:

Miller-Lowl-Keller-Solvin.              MAGoldstein-Brecher-ECohen-CLevineSGordon-Postal-Bobys-RGoldstein

The parallel Best Ball/Not So Best Ball nine followed with 36 points on the line for each foursome.  Kojak and Long Ball Polsky teamed for 28 points to help the Teen Twists surge head with 87 points at the end of Stage Two.  Ron Woodstock Kleinman and Phil Schulman garnered 22 points to keep the Mo’s in touch with 83 while Billy B Burak and Lowl Levine matched the 22 points to position the Hot Fudge Ice Cream Cakes at 79 for the final push.  Howard Going Postal and Mark A Goldstein 22 points could not save the Freezes who were in free fall at 75 points.


A little Hot Shoppes fare gave the guys a chance to find their sea legs and then it was back out for one final lap to determine the Kolesteral King of the Keepers Kolor War Kompetition.

A little sustenance before moving on
A little sustenance before moving on

Almost Skins pits guys of similar handicaps vieing for 16 points a hole so just about anything can happen if a few guys get hot and dominate their grouping.  Stewart The Face Seems Familiar Cherner earned 43 points to pace the Fudge’s comeback bid as they scored 225 points in this phase and 304 for the day.  42 and 41 points by Richard Goldstein and Mish Moe respectively helped the Mighty Mo’s earn 221 points only to lose ground on the leaders and tie second with 304 points.

Anxious waiting....pant-pant-blow
Anxious waiting….pant-pant-blow
Tabulation....checking it twice...who played naughty and nice
Tabulation….checking it twice…who played naughty and nice


It was the three headed monster of Solvin What is for Lunch Gordon, Kojak Greenberg, and Long Ball Polsky with 42, 41, and 41 points shoring up the Twists 223 points in Almost Skins that maintained a margin of victory with 310 points for the day.  Besides these all star performances Tom Burn Notice Burne is being considered for Executive of the Year honors in assembling this more-than-adequate-to-the-task team.


The Winning TwistsTwists









Fudgy SecondsFudgies









Mighty Mo'sMo's












(Click to see the complete box score of The Hot Shoppes Revival 2014)

Keepers Almost Skins-Results

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Keepers and GavelFor the first time in recent memory a Keepers Kompetition was interrupted by nature’s fury.  19 Keepers and 1 Extra Terrestrial Entity made up the five foursomes that competed in tonight’s Tuesday Pick Up Game in the 7-5-3-1 Almost Skins format.  Two of the groups made it to the house before the horn sounded and sideways rain interrupted the proceedings.

After deliberation with counsel and a forensic study of the meeting minutes from the 2009 Keepers Kaukus that considered such matters under the heading of “The Lord’s Little Tantrums and a Keepers Kompetition” it was determined that the six holes completed by the wettest foursome would comprise a Keepers Kommon Denominator and be counted toward the kompetition results.

Finishing first place with 31 Almost Skins Points was Neal Bobys who won 150 Kup Points and $100 Kash Sweeps.  Tied second with 29 points were four guys-Steve The Simple Country Dentist Keller, David Ruby Ruben, Howard I Got Just One Question Wollner, and Ronnie Clean Green Greenbaum.  These four won 60 Kup Points and $20 Kash Sweeps for the effort.

There was a reshuffling of the Keepers Kup Standings as a result-Neal Bobys not leads by a slim 31 points over Steve Keller in second and 71 points over Len The Lead Dog Plumber Goldman in third.

(Click to see the full field Keepers Almost Skins results)

Match Play Club Championship-Results

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Woodmont LogoIn the second Major of the season The Keepers had high profile representation (about 50% of the competitors) throughout the flights of the Match Play Club Championship.

From our ranks there were three flight winners in Kevin On The Move Bass,  Paul PC Cohen, Monroe The Professor Brett and four flight bridesmaids in Len The Plumber Goldman, John Freak-a-dilia Friedson, Neal Always In The Money Bobys, and Ronnie Clean Green Greenbaum.  Mike Fisher and Kaptin Keith Eig both qualified for the Championship Flight and won first round matches as well.  Other match winners included Ron Woodstock Kleinman, Rich Kojak Greenberg, and Moe Mish Dweck.

Keepers Flight Winner:

Flight       Winner                   Runner-Up

2nd                                           Len Goldman

3rd           Kevin Bass            John Friedson

4th           Paul Cohen           Neal Bobys

5th           Monroe Brett       Ronnie Greenbaum

With the points rewarded for this major there has been a serious shake-up in the Keepers Kup Standings with Len the Plumber taking over as The Lead Dog, leading Steve The Simple Country Dentist Keller by a mere 20 points.  Neal Bobys and Kaptin Keith are both within 100 points of the lead at the end of June.

Congratulations to Len Goldman who is the Keeper of the Month and Paul Cohen who is second for the month with 1050 and 900 Keepers Kup Points respectively in June.


Keepers/Young Guns 4-Club Results

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In the co-mingled Keepers/Young Guns Net 2-Man Team 4-Club Kompetition (that is a mouthful) we had 24 guys trying to play the front of the South with limited provisions. As is always the case this leads to some creative choices for the quiver as guys decide how important their putter is, what attack clubs to carry, how to get to an attack position off the tee, and what they hell they are going to hit on the par 3’s. We saw it all today in a very tightly bunched field.

At the end of the day Kaptin Keith Eig and Monroe “Roe” Brett bested the field by one shot with a score of even par 35. Kaptin played with 3 wood, 8 iron, PW, and Sand Iron (doing double duty as his putter, apparently with great proficiency). Roe played with the same 4 clubs he plays with every day. The key was the birdie net eagle by Kaptin Keith to a very tough pin back left on #6.

There were five teams at one-over 36 in a logjam tie for second. Michael “Long Ball” Cherner/Barry “Where Have You Been” Minkoff, Steve “Lead Dog” Keller/Jim “Boom-Boom” Polsky, Michael Levin/Bobby “Sky King” Lipnick, Jamie “Carrot Top” Cohen/Billy “Billy B” Burak/, and Art “Krieg” Blitz/Moe Mish all found ways, albeit different paths, to get to 36.

Billy B had the very rare 3-3Wood-3 on #5 for a net eagle that gave his team a bit of hope. Krieg Blitz made an amazing par net eagle on #3 after a less than full driving effort left him a good 385 out. Ice water in his veins he rolled in the hybrid putt from about 19 feet to right the ship for team Blitz/Mish. Keller/Polsky redefined the ham and egg approach playing around at least 4 X’s on their card.

Lots of could have/should haves ensued over dinner. But the tale of the tape left the proceeds in the hands of Eig/Brett.


(Click to see the full scoresheet of the 4-Club event)

Keepers Logo-SmallYoung Guns Logo

Keepers Match Play-Sweet Sixteen

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Keepers and GavelTwo months and 48 matches later we arrive at the Sweet Sixteen in the Keepers Year-Long Match Play.  There have been some tightly contested matches in the play-in, first, and second round matches but the sixteen guys listed below remain for the back stretch and a chance to reach the Elite Eight.  Congratulations to:

Billy Burak vs Rick Cohen

Tom Burne vs Richard Goldstein

Keith Eig vs Rick Brecher

David Ruben vs Arnie Miller

Mike Fisher vs Arthur Blitz

Howard Wollner vs Steve Lustgarten

Gary Abrahams vs Gary Jonas

Sol Gordon vs Neal Bobys

Our strategy of like-kind matches in the first two rounds must have worked because we only have 3 guys repeating from last year’s Sweet Sixteen.  Play on gentlemen!

(Click here to see the updated Match Play Grids)

Keepers Beat The Pro-Results

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Keepers and GavelPulling a Jim Furyk, Ronnie Mr. Green Greenbaum missed his assigned tee time but managed to get in 16 good holes and thoroughly thrash Phil Mickelson and the rest of The Keeper field with 30 points to win the Saturday Keepers Beat The Pro by 4 points over a host of challengers.  This was a modified Stableford format in a head-to-head match where Ronnie got 3 points for each hole he beat Phlashy Phil and one point for each hole he tied.  For his effort he got 300 Keepers Kup Points, moving to the top 15 in the standings, and $100 in Keepers Kash Sweeps.  He may be looking for a travel alarm clock in the shop with his winnings.



Ronnie Greenbaum with fists still clenched from the beat down he put on the field
Ronnie Greenbaum with fists still clenched from the beat down he put on the field

Tied for second, winning 150 Kup Points and $25 in sweeps each with 26 points, were Len The Plumber Goldman over Phil Mickelson, Arnie Eyes For You Miller over Matt Fitzpatrick (A), and Rich So Much Sussman over Charl Schwartzel.  Tied fifth at 25 points were Howard Going Postal over Henrik Stenson and Sky King Lipnick over Matt Fitzpatrick.

This was a very tightly played set of matches as there were another 8 Keepers who beat guys like Sneds, Kevin Na, Dustin Johnson, and Jordan Spieth for at 21 to 24 points.  Biggest move in the Kup Standings goes to Len The Plumber who now owns second place and is just 205 points behind The Lead Dog Keller.

(Click to see the full results of the Keepers Beat The Pro)

Senior Championship-Results

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Woodmont LogoThis weekend was the first Keeper’s major of the year with the 2-Day Senior Championship and there were major Kup points on the line.  The Keepers treated this as a flighted kompetition-the American Flight comprised of guys with Handicap Indexes of 14 or less and the National Flight guys with Handicap Indexes of 14.1 or more.  They played with full handicap for two rounds and the top five finishers in each flight got the Kup Points.

Day 1 on the zoysia was a day for scoring.  Marc Fink led the Americans with 4 under (82-14-68 net) and Don Greenberg had first position for the Nationals with the same 4-under (88-20-68 net).   Len Goldman and Barry Forman were in hot pursuit in the American Flight with Lustgarten and Lipnick a few furlongs back in the Senior Circuit.  But there were Sunday pins and Sunday nerves to contend with on North Course greens-this was not going to be a cake walk.

In the American Flight Len The Plumber Goldman continued to show some of last year’s form and shot a solid 73 net to go with his 70 from Saturday and sling shot himself into first place with 1-under 143 for the two days.  Barry Forman matched this with a Sunday 73 net of his own and finished tied 2nd with Rich Kojak Greenberg at 144-even par.  Taking a few hits the Bronx Bantam Marc Fink was 4-over on the day and had to settle for 4th at 145.  Kaptin Keith Eig and Phil Schulman came in 2-over for the two days at 146 in a tie for 5th.

The National Flight was a stroll in the park for Don Not The Bald One Greenberg who threw down a 75 to go with his 68 from Saturday and win first place going away with 1-under 143.  The move came from Paul PC Cohen who had the round of the day with a net 68 that rocketed him to a 2nd place finish at 149.  Lustgarten and Lipnick held position finishing 3rd and 4th at 150 and 151 respectively. Mark A Goldstein had a fine net 74 to finish 5th at 152.

As a result of this weekend’s play the Keepers Kup Standings have been stirred but not shaken.  Len Goldman’s 500 points moved him up 4 slots to 3rd place halfway through the season.  Kojak moved up 4 slots to tied 5th with Kaptin Keith.  The Bob Beamon came for Don Not The Bald One and PC Cohen who both jumped 10 spots to get into the top ten with the fine finishes in the Senior.  Check out the Keepers Kup Standings to see positioning as we enter the second half of this year’s Keepers Kup Kampaign.

(Click here for full Keepers Results in the Senior Championship)