Keepers Match Play-Sweet Sixteen

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Keepers and GavelTwo months and 48 matches later we arrive at the Sweet Sixteen in the Keepers Year-Long Match Play.  There have been some tightly contested matches in the play-in, first, and second round matches but the sixteen guys listed below remain for the back stretch and a chance to reach the Elite Eight.  Congratulations to:

Billy Burak vs Rick Cohen

Tom Burne vs Richard Goldstein

Keith Eig vs Rick Brecher

David Ruben vs Arnie Miller

Mike Fisher vs Arthur Blitz

Howard Wollner vs Steve Lustgarten

Gary Abrahams vs Gary Jonas

Sol Gordon vs Neal Bobys

Our strategy of like-kind matches in the first two rounds must have worked because we only have 3 guys repeating from last year’s Sweet Sixteen.  Play on gentlemen!

(Click here to see the updated Match Play Grids)

Keepers Beat The Pro-Results

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Keepers and GavelPulling a Jim Furyk, Ronnie Mr. Green Greenbaum missed his assigned tee time but managed to get in 16 good holes and thoroughly thrash Phil Mickelson and the rest of The Keeper field with 30 points to win the Saturday Keepers Beat The Pro by 4 points over a host of challengers.  This was a modified Stableford format in a head-to-head match where Ronnie got 3 points for each hole he beat Phlashy Phil and one point for each hole he tied.  For his effort he got 300 Keepers Kup Points, moving to the top 15 in the standings, and $100 in Keepers Kash Sweeps.  He may be looking for a travel alarm clock in the shop with his winnings.



Ronnie Greenbaum with fists still clenched from the beat down he put on the field
Ronnie Greenbaum with fists still clenched from the beat down he put on the field

Tied for second, winning 150 Kup Points and $25 in sweeps each with 26 points, were Len The Plumber Goldman over Phil Mickelson, Arnie Eyes For You Miller over Matt Fitzpatrick (A), and Rich So Much Sussman over Charl Schwartzel.  Tied fifth at 25 points were Howard Going Postal over Henrik Stenson and Sky King Lipnick over Matt Fitzpatrick.

This was a very tightly played set of matches as there were another 8 Keepers who beat guys like Sneds, Kevin Na, Dustin Johnson, and Jordan Spieth for at 21 to 24 points.  Biggest move in the Kup Standings goes to Len The Plumber who now owns second place and is just 205 points behind The Lead Dog Keller.

(Click to see the full results of the Keepers Beat The Pro)

Senior Championship-Results

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Woodmont LogoThis weekend was the first Keeper’s major of the year with the 2-Day Senior Championship and there were major Kup points on the line.  The Keepers treated this as a flighted kompetition-the American Flight comprised of guys with Handicap Indexes of 14 or less and the National Flight guys with Handicap Indexes of 14.1 or more.  They played with full handicap for two rounds and the top five finishers in each flight got the Kup Points.

Day 1 on the zoysia was a day for scoring.  Marc Fink led the Americans with 4 under (82-14-68 net) and Don Greenberg had first position for the Nationals with the same 4-under (88-20-68 net).   Len Goldman and Barry Forman were in hot pursuit in the American Flight with Lustgarten and Lipnick a few furlongs back in the Senior Circuit.  But there were Sunday pins and Sunday nerves to contend with on North Course greens-this was not going to be a cake walk.

In the American Flight Len The Plumber Goldman continued to show some of last year’s form and shot a solid 73 net to go with his 70 from Saturday and sling shot himself into first place with 1-under 143 for the two days.  Barry Forman matched this with a Sunday 73 net of his own and finished tied 2nd with Rich Kojak Greenberg at 144-even par.  Taking a few hits the Bronx Bantam Marc Fink was 4-over on the day and had to settle for 4th at 145.  Kaptin Keith Eig and Phil Schulman came in 2-over for the two days at 146 in a tie for 5th.

The National Flight was a stroll in the park for Don Not The Bald One Greenberg who threw down a 75 to go with his 68 from Saturday and win first place going away with 1-under 143.  The move came from Paul PC Cohen who had the round of the day with a net 68 that rocketed him to a 2nd place finish at 149.  Lustgarten and Lipnick held position finishing 3rd and 4th at 150 and 151 respectively. Mark A Goldstein had a fine net 74 to finish 5th at 152.

As a result of this weekend’s play the Keepers Kup Standings have been stirred but not shaken.  Len Goldman’s 500 points moved him up 4 slots to 3rd place halfway through the season.  Kojak moved up 4 slots to tied 5th with Kaptin Keith.  The Bob Beamon came for Don Not The Bald One and PC Cohen who both jumped 10 spots to get into the top ten with the fine finishes in the Senior.  Check out the Keepers Kup Standings to see positioning as we enter the second half of this year’s Keepers Kup Kampaign.

(Click here for full Keepers Results in the Senior Championship)

Whoopee Cup-Results

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whoopee_cushionAs Aretha Franklin used to say  “R.E.V.E.N.G.E…….find out what it means to me………”

So it was today as The Keepers returned the Whoopee Cushion back to it’s rightful home by beating the upstart Young Guns 105 to 93 in the 3rd Edition of the Whooppe Cup competition.  Still reeling from last year’s shellacking at the hands of the Young Guns The Keepers won 6 out of the 11 Best Ball, Scramble, and Singles matches to win by 12.

Scoreboard After

Convincing performances in singles by Billy B Burak and Rusty Here Comes The Judge Minkoff accounted for 10 points of the difference.  A strong showing in Four Ball matches by Sol The Antler King Gordon/Bobby Sky King Lipnick and Allen Zee One and Only Zweig/Len The Plumber Goldman brought in another 11 point differential for the winners.

The elders from The Keepers
The elders from The Keepers
The Young Gun whippersnappers
The Young Gun whippersnappers

















The Young Guns got a strong showing from Joey Scheffres in singles and the team of Jamie Cohen/Alex Finkel in an unsuccessful bid to retain the cushion.  For the record the youngsters look resplendent in their new team duds rolled out for this event.


(Click to see full results from the 2014 Whoopee Cup)



Member-Member Memorial Day-Results

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Woodmont LogoThis weekend provided an opportunity for the club to celebrate members of blessed memory through it’s Two-Man Member-Member Memorial Day Event.  Two-man teams played best ball with their handicaps for Stableford points in two nine-hole formats on the North Course.  The Keepers were well represented with 22 of our guys participating in the event-representing two-thirds of the field.

In a runaway the winning team of Neal Bobys and Michael Rothbard scored 58 Stableford points and garnered 300 Keepers Kup points for Neal moving him into second place in the Kup Standings.  A distant second was Allen Zee One and Only Zweig and Jim Boom-Boom Polsky with 36 Stableford points netting 200 Kup points to each man.  It got close after that.  Tied third (125 Kup points per man) with 35 Stableford points were the tandems of Chet The Jet Levine and Marky Mark Miller and Don Not The Bald One Greenberg and Kojack Greenberg.  Our current Lead Dog Steve The Simple Country Dentist Keller and Tom Burn Notice Burne took fifth with 31 points earning 50 Kup points each.

With 9 events in the books we are about to hit the center of the Keepers Kompetitive season over the next six weeks the Senior Club Championship, Keepers Beat The Pro Day, Keepers-Young Guns 4-Club Pickup Game, and the Woodmont Match Play Club Championship on the calendar.  Make sure to sign up for these Kup Point opportunities as the field is starting to position itself approaching the back stretch.


Tuesday Two-Ball-Results

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Keepers and GavelErich Segal would be proud of the 20 guys who played in the “Love Story-Never Having To Say You’re Sorry” Tuesday Two-Ball Alternate Shot kompetition.  There were ample opportunities to apologize to your partner but The Keepers would have none of that.  Just a caution to the wind effort with no remorse was what this was all about.

Using their Alternate Shot-Net All-Star Nine Holes-(2) Par Fives, (2) Par Threes, and (5) Par Fours the familiar names rose to the top again.  Freaky Friedson and the Country Dental Practitioner Keller and Kaptin Keith Eig and Gary Abrahams shot a net 33 to win top honors.  Log jam tied for third included Billy B and Burn Notice Burne, All You Want To Zee Zweig and Moe Puba, Don Not the Bald One Greenberg and Neal Bobys, Ronnie Being Green Greenbaum and Brian The Stud, and PC Paul Cohen and Gary Techno Geek Jonas with a score of net 34.

With the new South scorecard brandishing only (3) Par Fives now it got a little dicey for a number of groups to manage their two par five selections at par or better.  SD Cherner, First Secretary of Gaming and Rules, is on assignment in Italy looking for the perfect Virgin Olive Oil.  But when he returns, considering the compaction of the scoring at the top, the thought of going to All-Star Twelve is definitely going to make it to the next meeting agenda.

(Click to see the full Love Story of the scoring in this event)

Single Elimination-Results

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Click to register for the eventThe first Tuesday Night Pick-Up Game was a flighted kompetition with the Single Elimination format.  Two divisions of Keepers, the American League (handicap indexes of 14 or less) and the National League (handicap indexes of 14.1 or more), competed for Keepers Kup Points and Kash Sweeps in today’s 9-hole event.  Double the money….double the fun!

The format called for playing without a full and diminishing deck.  Each Keeper started out with only 10 clubs and eliminated another club on each tee box. By the fourth hole they were down to 7 clubs, by the ninth just 2!  The results of this competition once again proves that the 14-club limit is totally without meaning in that the range of net scores of the 20 guys playing were only 4 apart.  It also proved that the difference in handicaps does not give members of the higher or lower handicap group any advantage-in fact the Nationals would have beat the Americans if this was a typical blended competition.  The next time someone says they don’t have a chance in one of our competitions because their handicap is too high I will forward them this posting.

The approach the players took to “figuring out what to eliminate” on each hole was varied.  Some flew by the seat of their pants, some used ouija boards, and a few, came with supporting reference material.  Tom Burne had what looked like a regression analysis white paper of a combination of hole lengths, average club distances, wind conditions, and barometric pressures to help in the task.  Apparently that was effective as you will see below.

By the time guys reached the 7th green they were hitting PW’s from 190 (maybe twice), knockdown hybrids from 135, and putting with everything from sand irons to fairway metals trying to eke out one last net par coming in.  Needless to say creativity in conception and execution of shots was at a premium.

In the Senior Circuit Flight there was a three-way tie for first with a net of 37 between Gary “New Knee” Jonas, Chet Levine, and Sky King Lipnick.  Each got 120 Keepers Kup Points and $60 in Kash Sweeps for the finish.  Tied for fourth were Sol “Antlers” Gordon and the Simple Country Dentist Keller with net 39-receiving 45 Kup Points each.

Single Eliminattion Nationals


In the American League Flight it was crowded at the top.  With net 38 there was a five-way tie for first with Tom “Burn Notice” Burne, Moe “The Mish” Dweck, Ron Kleinman, Howard “The Oracle” Wollner, and Kaptin Keith Eig each getting 90 Kup Points and $35 in Kash Sweeps as their cut of the pie.

Single Elimination American

Kool day for all who participated.  Look out for the next Keepers event-Tuesday Two-Ball on May 20th.  It will be Alternate Shot-Pick Your Own Partner. The posting of the event and sign up will be out later this week.

Keeper of the Month/Lead Dog-April 2014

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Click to register for the event

It what can only be characterized as total Keeper domination, Steve “The Simple Country Dentist” Keller has made The Keepers Sweep in April winning the Keepers Pro-Schmo, Woodmont’s Opening Day, and the Par Three Championship garnering 975 Keepers Kup points, the Keeper of the Month sweeps, and the Yellow Lead Dog Headcover in our first month of kompetitions.

This can best be explained as a reaction to Steve’s disappointing third place finish in his Streamsong Trip in late March. So we have AB Blitz to blame for this circumstance and the resultant vengeance the Country Dentist has plied to the rest of us.

His sidekick Mike “WWW/The Car Collector” Weber is in second with 725 kup points drafting the Doc with wins at Opening Day and the Par Three. They will collect $50/$25 respectively in kash sweeps for the effort.

We are having Steve fitted for a large perrywinkle Kosher K target he will be required to wear the rest of the season.

Par Three-Results

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Woodmont LogoA stunning day of bright sunshine, blue skies, and just enough wind to make one doubt their club selection greeted 70 Woodmont members (36 Keepers) contesting the 3rd, now-to-be-annual-for-sure, Par Three Tournament over 18 unique holes on the North Course.  A four-person scramble format with an MIT calculated team scramble handicap meant it would take a Putt-Putt like score to take home the Woodmont Sweeps and the Keepers Kup Points.

Scoreboard 2

The signed evidence....a little soiled but none worse for wear
The signed evidence….a little soiled but none worse for wear

The winner’s, by a mere .7 shots net, and these names may sound hauntingly familiar, were The Simple Country Dentist (Doc Keller), Freaky John (Friedson), the Car Collector (Dr. Mike Weber), and Kaptin Keith (THM) Eig.  On the way to 45 gross/40.5 net, they made 9 birdies including crucial ones on Ode to Pine Valley (3rd tee to 4th green), Tree Hugger (8th tee to 9th green-when the Car Collector stiffed it between the tree canopy), Ball Washer (13th old forward tee to 12th green-an impossible pin to get at), and Wooten’s Worry (the last 147 yards of the 15th-where groups were having trouble finding the putting surface of the side hill tee box).







The unheralded group of Mish, Mrs. Mish (Kathy), Bronx Marc (Fink), and Zee-One-And-Only (Allen Zweig) put up a stiff fight with 8 birdies of their own (46 gross/41.2 net).  They rode the putter of Mrs. Mish as far as they could and got very timely execution from the entire roster through the day.  The team minced Oy Vey Korner 2-3-2  on 11 through 13-to get to seven-under but could only manage one more birdie in the last five to come up a buck short.


The bridesmaids....just a handful of flowers....
The bridesmaids….just a handful of flowers….


Today’s top event finishers with Keepers:

1st- Keller-Friedson-Weber-Eig            300 Kup Points each

2nd- Dweck-Fink-Zweig                         200 Kup Points each

3rd- Wollner                                             150 Kup Points

4th- Blitz-Lipnick-P. Cohen-Faigen      100 Kup Points each

5th- A. Levine-Burak                                50 Kup Points each

Great day of giggles and high fives for all that participated.  Special thanks to Mike Thomas and staff for their organization of the event and the D & D design team for once again presenting challenges that Woodmont members never knew existed.

Opening Day-Results

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Click to go to the Woodmont Site to sign up for the event

The Grape Popsicle Invasion was everywhere yesterday with 43 Keepers represened among the 100 plus participants at Woodmont’s Opening Day.  The weather could not have been more ideal with lots of son and sephardic spring temperatures.  The course played hard and fast presenting a full challenge as the organizers wanted.

In the 4-Man Net team competition a group of Keepers repeated as champions with an eye opening net 54 on the New North.  Len Goldman, Steve Keller, John Friedson, and Mike Weber will get 300 Keepers points each for their effort.  The second place in the team net went to a team that included Neal Bobys and Mike Fisher.  There were three teams that tied for third net among Keepers and these teams included among their ranks Marc Fleisher, Artie Aronoff, Richard Haskin, Sol Gordon, and Bruce Ochsman.

The individual net award for the day went to Neal Bobys who shot a 66 on a course that was very stingy on net birdies and very generous on doubles or worse.

The Keepers Rules Education Initiative placed it’s first “in-stall-ment” for Opening Day and there will be plenty more education where that came from through the year.