Tuesday Two-Ball-Results

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Keepers and GavelErich Segal would be proud of the 20 guys who played in the “Love Story-Never Having To Say You’re Sorry” Tuesday Two-Ball Alternate Shot kompetition.  There were ample opportunities to apologize to your partner but The Keepers would have none of that.  Just a caution to the wind effort with no remorse was what this was all about.

Using their Alternate Shot-Net All-Star Nine Holes-(2) Par Fives, (2) Par Threes, and (5) Par Fours the familiar names rose to the top again.  Freaky Friedson and the Country Dental Practitioner Keller and Kaptin Keith Eig and Gary Abrahams shot a net 33 to win top honors.  Log jam tied for third included Billy B and Burn Notice Burne, All You Want To Zee Zweig and Moe Puba, Don Not the Bald One Greenberg and Neal Bobys, Ronnie Being Green Greenbaum and Brian The Stud, and PC Paul Cohen and Gary Techno Geek Jonas with a score of net 34.

With the new South scorecard brandishing only (3) Par Fives now it got a little dicey for a number of groups to manage their two par five selections at par or better.  SD Cherner, First Secretary of Gaming and Rules, is on assignment in Italy looking for the perfect Virgin Olive Oil.  But when he returns, considering the compaction of the scoring at the top, the thought of going to All-Star Twelve is definitely going to make it to the next meeting agenda.

(Click to see the full Love Story of the scoring in this event)

Keepers/Young Guns Whoopee Cup

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The annual grudge match of the Old Farts vs the Young Farts will be contested on Saturday May 31st.  Still smarting from last year’s 132.5 to 101.5 shellacking, The Keepers have added legally borderline supplements to their diets and are keen for revenge.

This is a team event with 16 to 24 guys from each squad configured in (3) different formats of 18 hole matches.  All the matches are worth 18 points (one point a hole) so they are contested to the final hole and all kontestants will play from the same tees.  The matches will include 2-Man Best Ball (80% handicaps), 2-Man Scrambles (Blended handicaps), and Singles (90% handicap) with the captains from each side determining who will play which format.

Billy B, winner of last year’s Keepers Match Play, will kaptain The Keepers squad and make all the painful decisions.  You can sign up to make yourself eligible to play in the event by hitting the Kosher K.  Just because you sign up does not guarantee you are in the line-up.  Billy will make final determination of the roster and the matches based on the Burak-Metrics system.

This is a great outing so sign up to be a part as we seek to regain the Whoopee Cushion we deserve!


Tuesday Two-Ball-Alternate Shot

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The next Keepers event is a Tuesday Two-Ball (2-man Alternate Shot) on May 20th with a shotgun start at 4:45.  You can pick your own partner or leave it to our Shitach Kommittee to arrange it for you.   This is true alternate shot-you and your pard will alternate who drives on the odd and even holes.  A team handicap which is the average of 80% of your two individual  handicaps on the course to be determined.  The strokes you get then are assigned to the scorecard holes by handicap hole order.

Tee off as one and we will get in as many of the 18 holes as we can before dusk.  This is a Net All-Star Nine competition so you will choose your team’s best net (2) par fives, (2) par threes, and (5) par fours of the holes you played.

Keepers Kup Points for the low five teams and Keepers Kup Sweeps for the low three teams.  This is a chance to pad your Kup Standings and Sweeps account.  So pick a pard and sign up.

If you want to designate a partner please email moedweck@comcast.net after you both sign up for the event.

Click on the Kosher K to register on line for this event.

Single Elimination-Results

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Click to register for the eventThe first Tuesday Night Pick-Up Game was a flighted kompetition with the Single Elimination format.  Two divisions of Keepers, the American League (handicap indexes of 14 or less) and the National League (handicap indexes of 14.1 or more), competed for Keepers Kup Points and Kash Sweeps in today’s 9-hole event.  Double the money….double the fun!

The format called for playing without a full and diminishing deck.  Each Keeper started out with only 10 clubs and eliminated another club on each tee box. By the fourth hole they were down to 7 clubs, by the ninth just 2!  The results of this competition once again proves that the 14-club limit is totally without meaning in that the range of net scores of the 20 guys playing were only 4 apart.  It also proved that the difference in handicaps does not give members of the higher or lower handicap group any advantage-in fact the Nationals would have beat the Americans if this was a typical blended competition.  The next time someone says they don’t have a chance in one of our competitions because their handicap is too high I will forward them this posting.

The approach the players took to “figuring out what to eliminate” on each hole was varied.  Some flew by the seat of their pants, some used ouija boards, and a few, came with supporting reference material.  Tom Burne had what looked like a regression analysis white paper of a combination of hole lengths, average club distances, wind conditions, and barometric pressures to help in the task.  Apparently that was effective as you will see below.

By the time guys reached the 7th green they were hitting PW’s from 190 (maybe twice), knockdown hybrids from 135, and putting with everything from sand irons to fairway metals trying to eke out one last net par coming in.  Needless to say creativity in conception and execution of shots was at a premium.

In the Senior Circuit Flight there was a three-way tie for first with a net of 37 between Gary “New Knee” Jonas, Chet Levine, and Sky King Lipnick.  Each got 120 Keepers Kup Points and $60 in Kash Sweeps for the finish.  Tied for fourth were Sol “Antlers” Gordon and the Simple Country Dentist Keller with net 39-receiving 45 Kup Points each.

Single Eliminattion Nationals


In the American League Flight it was crowded at the top.  With net 38 there was a five-way tie for first with Tom “Burn Notice” Burne, Moe “The Mish” Dweck, Ron Kleinman, Howard “The Oracle” Wollner, and Kaptin Keith Eig each getting 90 Kup Points and $35 in Kash Sweeps as their cut of the pie.

Single Elimination American

Kool day for all who participated.  Look out for the next Keepers event-Tuesday Two-Ball on May 20th.  It will be Alternate Shot-Pick Your Own Partner. The posting of the event and sign up will be out later this week.

Keeper of the Month/Lead Dog-April 2014

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It what can only be characterized as total Keeper domination, Steve “The Simple Country Dentist” Keller has made The Keepers Sweep in April winning the Keepers Pro-Schmo, Woodmont’s Opening Day, and the Par Three Championship garnering 975 Keepers Kup points, the Keeper of the Month sweeps, and the Yellow Lead Dog Headcover in our first month of kompetitions.

This can best be explained as a reaction to Steve’s disappointing third place finish in his Streamsong Trip in late March. So we have AB Blitz to blame for this circumstance and the resultant vengeance the Country Dentist has plied to the rest of us.

His sidekick Mike “WWW/The Car Collector” Weber is in second with 725 kup points drafting the Doc with wins at Opening Day and the Par Three. They will collect $50/$25 respectively in kash sweeps for the effort.

We are having Steve fitted for a large perrywinkle Kosher K target he will be required to wear the rest of the season.

Par Three-Results

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Woodmont LogoA stunning day of bright sunshine, blue skies, and just enough wind to make one doubt their club selection greeted 70 Woodmont members (36 Keepers) contesting the 3rd, now-to-be-annual-for-sure, Par Three Tournament over 18 unique holes on the North Course.  A four-person scramble format with an MIT calculated team scramble handicap meant it would take a Putt-Putt like score to take home the Woodmont Sweeps and the Keepers Kup Points.

Scoreboard 2

The signed evidence....a little soiled but none worse for wear
The signed evidence….a little soiled but none worse for wear

The winner’s, by a mere .7 shots net, and these names may sound hauntingly familiar, were The Simple Country Dentist (Doc Keller), Freaky John (Friedson), the Car Collector (Dr. Mike Weber), and Kaptin Keith (THM) Eig.  On the way to 45 gross/40.5 net, they made 9 birdies including crucial ones on Ode to Pine Valley (3rd tee to 4th green), Tree Hugger (8th tee to 9th green-when the Car Collector stiffed it between the tree canopy), Ball Washer (13th old forward tee to 12th green-an impossible pin to get at), and Wooten’s Worry (the last 147 yards of the 15th-where groups were having trouble finding the putting surface of the side hill tee box).







The unheralded group of Mish, Mrs. Mish (Kathy), Bronx Marc (Fink), and Zee-One-And-Only (Allen Zweig) put up a stiff fight with 8 birdies of their own (46 gross/41.2 net).  They rode the putter of Mrs. Mish as far as they could and got very timely execution from the entire roster through the day.  The team minced Oy Vey Korner 2-3-2  on 11 through 13-to get to seven-under but could only manage one more birdie in the last five to come up a buck short.


The bridesmaids....just a handful of flowers....
The bridesmaids….just a handful of flowers….


Today’s top event finishers with Keepers:

1st- Keller-Friedson-Weber-Eig            300 Kup Points each

2nd- Dweck-Fink-Zweig                         200 Kup Points each

3rd- Wollner                                             150 Kup Points

4th- Blitz-Lipnick-P. Cohen-Faigen      100 Kup Points each

5th- A. Levine-Burak                                50 Kup Points each

Great day of giggles and high fives for all that participated.  Special thanks to Mike Thomas and staff for their organization of the event and the D & D design team for once again presenting challenges that Woodmont members never knew existed.

Tuesday Pick-Up Game-Single Elimination

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The first of The Keepers Tuesday evening 9-Hole Pic-Up Games will be May 6th with tee times between 4:00 and 5:30 pm.  The format is an old favorite, the Single Elimination Kompetition.  This is a second cousin to our 4-Club event, in that it tests your ability to manage the course with less than the full komplement of tools.

Each Keeper starts the first hole with 10 clubs and eliminates the club of his choice on the next tee.  It is part of the Keepers Honor Kode to verbally announce his choice so all are aware.  If you do the math he will be playing the second hole with 9 clubs, the fifth hole with 6 clubs, and he will be standing on the ninth tee trying to get into the house with just 2 clubs left in play.  The putter is one of the clubs so each kompetitior must choose wisely the clubs to designate out of play on each tee.

Players get 90% handicap to lop off the gross score at the end of the nine holes.  This is a fun format and it definitely fits the players who know how to create shots, especially down the last four holes.

Click on the Kosher K to register on line for this event.